10 Great Ideas For A Staycation This Summer

June 30, 2020

The 4th of July 1776 was the day America declared independence from English rule. The 4th of July 2020 will see citizens of the UK celebrate their holiday independence as campsites, hotels and self catering accommodation reopen after lockdown. Granted we probably won’t commemorate the moment that the gates of Elvedon Centre Parcs swing open for the next 300 years but right now it feels pretty momentous. Demand for UK holidays has soared leaving many of us scrambling to lock down a staycation that doesn’t involve camping in a layby off the A1. But I am here to save you many hours of google research with 15 great places to stay in the UK that still have some availability for July and August. All of my choices offer Scandi Rustic rather than Skegness style and I have tried to include options for every budget.

Agricultural Chic in Norfolk

North Norfolk is one of my favourite staycation destinations with its wide open skies, sweeping wide sandy beaches and flint stone built villages full of great little places to shop and eat. Nestled in the Norfolk countryside 30 minutes from the coast, Great Barn Farm is a collection of barns expertly converted to maintain the historical, rustic look of the farmyard, but combining it with modern comforts and practical design. Spacious, neutral interiors that blend seamlessly with the surrounding countryside make this an excellent option

Cottages in a Cornish Cove

With plenty of time on my hands during lockdown I have enjoyed using my evenings to learn another European language, master Origami and write my first novel. Who am I kidding I have actually been collapsing on the sofa, eating Rich Tea biscuits slathered in Nutella whilst rewatching Poldark for the fourth time. The harbour in Charlestown on the South Cornish coast often pops up as a location and it is home to a gorgeous cluster of self catering accommodation known as Antonia’s Pearls. There are 6 different properties and if you are quick some of them still have July and August availability. The all feature the same fresh, white interior with lots of quirky interesting vintage finds. We have stayed in the Sail Loft before and had a lovely week, pottering around the harbour, swimming in the sea and picnicking on the secluded pebbly beach.

Scandi Suffolk Cabin

The Stables is a centuries old former stable converted into a modern rustic rural retreat. Set deep in the Suffolk countryside but within easy reach of the Suffolk coast it is a holiday cottage for four people with with original brick floors and oak beams throughout. Surrounded by lots of land to let the kids roam free/feral this idyllic rural retreat still has good availability for August.

Get Cosy in a Cotswold Cowshed

A few years ago we rented Bledington Barn for a break between Christmas and New Year and fell in love with its picture perfect location on the edge of a Cotswold village green a stone’s throw from the fantastic Kings Head pub. Sleeping up to six the owners have renovated the 300 year old barn in an eco-friendly way recycling and re purposing original materials. Think lazy breakfasts around a gorgeous old wooden table, evenings playing games in the double height living space and nights snuggled up in beds with the softest sheets and linen.

Camping in Kent

Last Summer just before we moved house we spent a very happy couple of nights in a bell tent in Kent. Blocking thoughts of packing/stamp duty and removal lorries from our mind we loved this small family friendly campsite with great facilities. Whilst Fallowfield weekends are now booked up there is still weekday availability in the bell tents. It makes a great base for exploring some of Kent’s nicest coastal spots including my personal favourite: Whitstable

A Highland Adventure

At the end of a four mile, loch-skimming, possibly buttock clenching single track drive past hedgerows thick with purple thistles and fields of shaggy Highland cattle, lies Monachyle Mhor - a boutique hotel owned and run by the Lewis family. In the grounds of the hotel, across a handmade bridge, is a very special Highland hideout.

The Ferry Waiting Room Cabin sleeps 4 and is built around two huge picture windows that connect the cabin to the amazing highland views around it. if you want to get back to nature this is the place for you. Climb a mountain, go fishing in the loch and embrace your inner Highlander.

Shed Chic on Skye

If I could close my eyes and transport myself to any of the places I have picked out this would be the one I would teleport to. The Black Shed sits on the side of a remote hill, surrounded by Hebridean sheep grazing under vast skies with Loch Dunvegan shimmering in the distance. The Black Shed replaced an old agricultural building and offers airy interiors made up of pine-clad walls, textured concrete floors and big windows to frame the view. This is a retreat for two so pack your bags and

Run Away to Rye

If you haven’t left the confines of your house for the last three months bar socially distant trips to the supermarket (the new going “Out Out”) then blasting the lockdown cobwebs away standing atop the vast sand dunes of Camber Sands will feel like heaven. This tranquil harbour-side hideaway sits two miles downstream from Rye town (hello cute cobbled streets) and only six miles from Camber Sands. Hawkhurst was once used to spy on trespassing smugglers and enemies, today the former watch house which sleeps six exudes Scandi rather than smuggler chic.

Timeout in Thorpeness

An apartment virtually on the beach with stunning sea views and light bright interiors sounds like just the place I would like to be right now. 4 Truman Lodge is in peaceful Thorpeness on the Suffolk coast. The apartment sleeps 4 and is next door to the Thorpeness Country Club which offers facilities including tennis courts and steps away from the popular Dolphin Pub. It still has weekend availability in August from £95 a night so go forth and book quickly.

Days on the farm in Devon

Berridon Farm is a small family farm in a gorgeous part of Devon, with access to secret beaches and rolling countryside. Gather eggs straight from chickens, splash in the stream and swing on the tyre swings and then warm yourself by a woodburner on chilly Summer evenings in one of the five rustic tented cabins.

They still have availability for a couple of weekends in August but be quick because this slice of the Good Life is sure to get booked up soon

Best Places to Stay UK : Elmley Nature Reserve

January 26, 2020

Have you ever been on a road trip? The kind where you hire a classic car and head off down a route of impossibly gorgeous scenery with plenty of nice stopping points along the way? Our last big holiday before we became parents for the first time was a road trip down the Big Sur in California which definitely ticked the scenery and nice places to stop boxes. The only thing missing, owing to budgetary constraints, was the classic car. North London’s answer to Thelma & Louise (with Mr Malmo as Louise in this analogy) toured the route not in a convertible Mustang but a sensible Hyundai Hatchback that bore close resemblance to a large toad. The 9 years and three boys that followed have mainly featured roadtrips to visit our parents punctuated by rows about how to fit the mother f#cking travel cot in the boot and stops at Watford Gap services to change horror nappies and wolf down a Chicken Royale meal. However this Autumn, for Mr Malmo’s 40th Birthday( thanks to a kind babysitting offer from my parents -in-law) Thelma and Louise hit the road again and this time in a classic Mustang instead of a #TouringToad.

This would defo look cooler on the school run than our estate car come Variety Club Minibus

Our destination this time? The Isle of Sheppey. The Isle of where I hear you ask. Sandwiched between Gilligham, Gravesend and Herne Bay it is not, at first glance, the most obvious candidate for a scenic road trip I grant you. But bear with me because hidden away in this lesser known corner of Kent is Elmley Nature Reserve. We arrived on Sheppey just as the sun was starting to set on one of those perfect, crisp, Autumn days. Turning off down a bumpy track to reach Elmley Nature Reserve was like driving into the wide open plains of the American Midwest. It is truly one of the most beautiful places I have ever been. It took us 20 mins to get from the gate to the farmhouse because I must have stopped the car at least 15 times to take photographs

The Isle of Sheppey but could easily pass as the American Mid West

Stopping the car for my 15th photo break

What awaited us at the end of the track was equally special. Gareth and Georgina, who run Elmley, took over the land from Georgina’s parents in 2012 and over the last 7 years have added a small series of Shepherd’s Huts and cabins for guests to stay in across the Nature Reserve. Elmley is the only place in the UK where you can stay on a nature reserve. All of the huts and cabins are in a palette of materials which ensures they blend seamlessly with their surroundings.

The Saltbox, my favourite of the Cabins scattered across the Nature Reserve

You can bath under the stars and roast marshmallows on fire pits

I would love to have cladding like this as part of our renovation

There are also smaller Shepherd Huts to hire with the same amazing views

On the inside they are a cocooning mix of Farrow & Ball colours, silver larch clad walls and reclaimed materials and they have all the mod cons to ensure a truly comfortable stay with bathrooms stocked with delicious Bramley products and a cute kitchenette for making meals in. But the star of the show has to be the surroundings. You can fall asleep to the sound of owls and wake up to the sound of migrating geese flying overhead. It is enough to turn even this townie into a twitcher.

I loved the mixture of reclaimed materials used

The little kitchenette has all you need to see you through a stay

I loved these copper taps like the ones in my old bathroom

With the huts and cabins having proved a runaway success, the couple have turned their attention to renovating the Farmhouse and another cottage on the land so that Elmley now boasts two other exceptional places to stay. We were kindly hosted by Georgina in the Farmhouse which sleeps 14 in 6 truly amazing bedrooms, with an enormous kitchen diner and a choice of three ridiculously comfortable living rooms. The whole things is a masterclass in Modern Rustic Luxe. The kitchen is housed in a contemporary extension to the original farmhouse and combines traditional materials with modern architecture to great success.

The contemporary kitchen addition is a beautiful contrast to the original farmhouse

I loved the view through to the nature reserve from the floor to ceiling glass kitchen window

I think our trip may have been the first time in our entire relationship that I have woken up before Mr Malmo and volunteered to get out of bed to make him a hot drink rather than the other way around! Watching the sunrise over the nature reserve through the huge glass doors in the kitchen was worth going downstairs to put the kettle on for!

The kitchen from the inside is equally stunning

The side window floods the space with lights

If you are looking for a place to stay for a large family or group gathering I literally don’t think I have ever come across anywhere better! It sleeps 14 in 6 double bedrooms. There are also three different living rooms to chose from ranging from an elegant parlour style room, a sophisticated library and a gorgeous cosy snug with sexy velvet sofas and an exposed brick fireplace

I loved the blend of old features with modern accessories liked this rug in the hallway

Just one of the 3 gorgeous sitting rooms to choose from

This cosy snug was my favourite of the living rooms

With its exposed brick fireplace and wood burner

But the front sitting room in a rich teal blue gave it a close run for its money

All of the rooms combine insanely comfortable beds with lovely touches like hot water bottles and the kind of bathrooms that belong on a Pinterest board.

With lots of lovely luxe touches like white robes and hot water bottles in all the rooms

I loved all of the different colours that had been blended together seamlessly

With every room enjoying stunning views over the nature reserve

There are two cosy rooms in the attic with a bathroom which would be great if you were staying as a family of 4

The room we stayed in had a four poster bed and a cast iron bath at the end of bed in which I tried to pull of the insta legs akimbo in alluring fashion pose which ended in me looking less like a graceful swan and more like a dying duck

The stunning bedroom with 4 poster bed where we stayed

Doing my best Elizabeth Taylor impression

I will spare you the photo of me doing the dying duck pose in the cast iron bath that looks out over the nature reserve

If you are a smaller group there is also a freshly renovated clapboard cottage to hire. The black clad exterior belies a light, bright Scandi interior that has more of a coastal cape cod feel.

The interiors in the cottage have a fresh coastal feel

If I were ever to have a pink bedroom this is the perfect shade of blush

I loved the contemporary twist of painting the cladding in two colours

The gorgeous sitting room in the cottage with wood burner

It is often hired for yoga retreats and it is easy to see why

Oh and did I mention there is a fairly light festooned barn with an honesty bar where you can gather for a gin on a hay bale of an evening. Seeing the inside of the barn had me mentally getting down on one knee and proposing a wedding vow renewal to Mr Malmo.

The festoon strung black barn that made me want to re propose marriage to Mr Malmo

Both the cottage and the farmhouse are well set up to self cater but if you are feeling lazy (we were) you can rest your inner Delia Smith for the evening and let the Elmley team rustle you up a relaxed supper, delivered to your door in a hamper. It is basically like staying in the nicest of boutique hotels with all the comfort and relaxation of home. If I were ever to make (an unadmittedly unlikely) switch into agriculture this would be my fantasy farmhouse.

The kitchen is super well equipped but you can also opt to have Supper delivered to your door

This is the kind of farmhouse that could persuade me career change into agriculture

Sadly after 24 hours we had to return both the Mustang and the Farmhouse but this is one road trip we will remember for a very long time.

Thelma and Louise before they reluctantly left Elmley behind

Whole Farmhouse hire is available throughout the year but for certain weeks of the year it is also possible to book individual rooms on a self catering basis (be quick because these get booked up fast!). The Cottage sleeps 10 and must be rented as a whole property. If you would like to enjoy 10% off a stay in the Farm House or the Cottage quote Malmo19 when you phone or e-mail to book.

Stays in the shepherds huts start at just £85 per night and the cabins, which sleep 2 adults with room for 2 children as well, are from £115 per night. So whatever your budget there is a way to stay at Elmley and enjoy it’s magic. For all the details of how to book click here

Our night in the Farmhouse was kindly gifted to us by Georgina

Best Places To Stay UK: The Fife Coast

May 19, 2019

Do you ever get stuck in a holiday rut where you end up packing your suitcase to head back to the same places over and over again? When it comes to UK staycations we have fallen into the habit of heading South-West in search of Cornish beaches, cream teas and the opportunity to potentially spot Poldark indulging in some topless farming. However this Easter we headed North rather than South of the border after a chance conversation with my Sister lead me to discovering a secret the Scots have been keeping under their Sporrans: the East Neuk of Fife. This stretch of coast between Leven and St Andrews is where well heeled Edinburghers come to spend their Summers drawn by the miles of sandy beaches, gorgeous little fishing villages and some of the best food and drink in Scotland.

Granted you may have more chance of spotting Gordon Brown paddling in the sea with his trousers rolled up than Poldark tending a field with his top off but that is pretty much the only drawback of visiting this beautiful part of the world. We travelled up from London by train (which takes about 4.5hrs) and then hired a minibus from Edinburgh for the final hour or so of the journey. Before you start thinking that I am a secret mormon with enough children to fill a bus I should point out we were travelling with friends so there were 12 of us in total. I would highly recommend getting the train as the stretch of the journey north of Morpeth runs alongside the sea and includes coastal views stunning enough to cause kids to look up look up from their I Pads.

Ruby Bay beach in Elie which our holiday house led directly out onto

Where We Stayed

There are four or five different places to choose from as a base on this stretch of coast. St Monan’s, Elie, Anstruther, Crail, Pitenweem and St Andrews itself are all charming. We chose Elie after I lucked out and found a stunning contemporary house right on the beach. For all of you who asked for the link click here. Midrock House sleeps up to 12 and has a wonderful open plan layout downstairs with floor to ceiling windows to take advantage of the stunning views out over the beach.

The entrance to Midrock House with bags of coastal kerb appeal

The design of the house maximised its stunning coastal location

The back of the house and the path down onto the beach

This side of the house has a bedroom with 4 beds for kids and a separate living space and TV to keep them entertained

There are polished concrete floors throughout, an open plan kitchen/diner, five double bedrooms, three bathrooms, three living rooms, a utility and boot room. Everything is built around the stunning views which in the Winter you can enjoy snuggled up inside in front of the beast of a log burner.

I loved the concrete seating bench which also housed a woodburner

We lit the woodburner one of the colder nights and cosied up watching the sea as the sun went down

There is an amazingly well equipped kitchen at the centre of the living space that had every pot and pan you could ever desire and then there is a gorgoeus (and enormous) vintage farmhouse style table for dining at. This is positioned to take full advantage of the views and in the Summer there is an outdoor seating area on the terrace that runs the width of the house that is steps from the beach.

There is a huge island in the centre of the kitchen which makes it a really sociable space

We easily fitted all 12 of us around the vintage farmhouse style table

The open plan living/dining space. There is a further seating area with TV beyond the wall behind the table

When the sun was shining you could open up the doors and eat outside on the terrace

Upstairs the bedrooms have been designed to take full advantage of the view. The decor is fresh, white and neutral but huge picture windows flood the rooms with light and offer an outlook over the bay and beyond. I can’t tell you how soothing it is to fall asleep at night with the blinking light of a lighthouse reflecting at you over the sea. There is almost an annex/separate wing of the house that is designed as a cool kids crash pad with four single beds and a separate living space with its own tv.

One of the bedrooms with views of a lighthouse

Another bedroom which had an enormous picture window running the width of the room

Five things to see and do

Exploring Elie

We chose Elie as our base mainly because the house just completely bowled me over but when we got there I realised it was actually a great choice for a number of other reasons as well. If you come out of Midrock House and turn right you come to the huge, flat main beach and, most importantly, The Ship Inn. This lovely pub has great interiors that have just the right amount of nod to the nautical and is the place to eat in Elie. The menu majors on amazing locally caught seafood and they have just added a new outdoor Gin Bar for 2019 which means that you can sit outside, drink in hand watching the sun go down whilst the kids play happily on the beach just metres from you.

The famous Ship Inn which was just 3 mins from the house

The house itself looks over the second beach which is the more sheltered Ruby Bay (so called because garnet stones have been known to be found on the beach). And beyond Ruby Bay you can follow the coast around to the lighthouse and explore a ruined temple. For the more adventourous (who do not have a toddler hell bent on throwing himself in the sea) there is the Elie Chain walk. We didn’t do it because of aforementioned toddler but is basically a bit like coasteering but with chains to help you navigate the rocks.

We loved doing the walk around to the lighthouse from the house

There is also the option of further exploring the coast on the Elie Chain Walk

The Bowhouse Market

Ten minutes up the coast from Midrock House is the Bowhouse. A monthly food and craft market in a super cool converted agricultural building that gathers together some of the best local food and drink producers and adds in some great local designers and makers so that you can chow down on a freshly baked Creme Egg Brownie whilst perusing locally made ceramics and jewellery. There is a brilliant atmosphere with lots of great stalls. The are big communal wooden tables to sit, live music and some great food demonstrations. It is an absolute must visit

I loved the concrete planter in the entrance to the market

And a separate barn with huge communal wooden tables and more great food trucks

When at a farmers market dress like a footballing farmer?!

St Andrews

Hands up anyone born between 1983 - 1986 who considered popping St Andrews on their University application form to have a go at #WinningaWindsor. Prince WIlliam is long gone but this great little town is definetely still worth visiting. It has great beaches, oodles of lovely architecture, golf if you are that way inclined but most importantly of all in Janettas potentially the best ice cream parlour I have ever visited (and I am a veteran #parlourpurveyor).

Scotland’s Hidden Bun ker

Whilst the Fife Coast is Scotland’s sunniest spot this is still Scotland so you will get the odd overcast/rainy day. In which case this place is defo fun to visit. Declassified in the 90s it turns out that in a non descript field in the middle of nowhere there is in fact a huge underground bunker built to withstand a nuclear attack from which the cold war was being fought. Well I say fought, it mainly seemed to involved lots of men looking at maps and practising their morse code every now and again. If you are used to London Museums where the cafe is part of the attraction you may want to adjust your expectations before visiting though as the err facilities are more of the formica table and vending machine than avocado on toast and filament bulb variety. Although the vending machine did sell Wham bars which I am pretty sure may have been outlawed some time around 2003 on account of their e-number account but which I would still happily lose a tooth to eat.

The err retro cafe which looks like it is still trapped in the Cold War era

Craigtoun Country Park

If you are, like us, in possession of kids who seem to share their DNA make up with Labradors and thus require exercising everyday in wide open spaces then Craigtoun Country Park is great. It is about 30 mins from the house and great to combine with a trip to St Andrews. There are loads of different adventure playgrounds and activities to choose from as well as the park itself being rather beautiful and it is the number 1 visitor attraction in Fife for good reason

A couple of soft southerners struggling with the Scottish breeze at Craigtoun Park

Anstruther

There are lots of lovely villages to explore on this stretch of coast with lovely fishing harbours, sandy beaches and pastel and sand coloured houses but Anstruther might just edge prize of the prettiest. It has some nice indepdent shops and an award winning fish and chip shop (the Anstruther Fish Bar) right in the beach to round off your visit.

Best Places to Eat and Drink

I should probably caveat this heading as best places to eat and drink if you have kids with you who have a maximum restaurant concentration time of 25 mins. Any meal that takes long than that to arrive and be eaten usually ends in carnage so unfortunately I am not able to offer my review of some of the more fine dining establishments ( Seafood Restaurant and Craig Millar @ 16 West End both look amazing). However the beauty of this stretch of coast is that there are loads of great farmshops so even if you are not eating in restaurants you can still fill you tum with fabulous food. One of the best is Adross Farmshop and it is just five mins from Midrock House. Here is my round up of my favourite places we chowed down

Cocoa Tree in Pitenweem

It doesn’t look very promising from the outside and the decor does have a slight feel of Mystic Meg’s dressing room but this is the best place for a Hot Chocolate for miles around. It is part chocolate shop part cafe run by the Pitenweem Chocolate Company so you are guaranteed an amazing chocolate experience. They have a stove in the winter that creates a cosy feel and a sheltered courtyard garden to enjoy in the Summer and the owners were extremely friendly and accomodating of our party which included 6 kids between us. Pitenweem itself has a lovely little fish harbour and pretty pastel houses and buildings.

The Cheesy Toast Shack

Mr Malmo tends to take a back seat when it comes to our holiday planning but every now and again he comes up with a gem out of the blue that makes me think he would make a very good substitute #ModernRusticJudith Chalmers were I to retire. The Cheesy Toast Shack is one such gem. A chance read of a Jay Rayner review in the Observer led 20 of the best minutes of my life sat in a steamy mini bus looking out to sea whilst eating a macaroni cheese filled toasted sandwich which may have furred my arteries but was worth every ounce of cholesterol. I cannot recommend this place highly enough. No pretty flat lay for you of this one just a full frontal shot of the melted cheese magic.

The Ship Inn

I have mentioned it already but I am going to mention it again because we had such a great meal here. If budget had allowed I would happily have eaten here every day of our stay. Seriously amazing food in a lovely relaxed atmosphere. In the Summer the Ship Inn also organises beach cricket tournaments with a barbeque. No pressure but they have been known to attract ex professional cricketers from the West Indies so make sure to pack your cricket A game.

The upstairs dining room with great views of the beach

The Millhouse Pizza Company

Whilst the Bowhouse market that I mentioned is only on once a month, there is a permenant woodfired pizza restaurant in the same building that is open 6 days a week and serves up the most delicious pizzas in a gorgeous beamed ceiling space. They also do coffee and cake if you are not in the mood for pizza (if that is even possible).

So there you have it my round up of the best of the Fife Coast. I would put this in out top 5 holidays of all time. I loved it that much and we are already planning a return trip next year having spotted these amazing looking Cath Penny Safari Lodges just outside Elie. We also added a night in Edinburgh into the mix on the way back which I would highly recommend. Although I would probably not recommend climbing Arthur's Seat with a toddler who (within 1 minute of starting the ascent loses all of the power in his leg batteries).

No leg batteries but a big smile at least

A Weekend at Eden Hall Cottage, Norfolk

January 26, 2019

Does anyone remember the TV programme ‘Challenge Anneka’? The basic premise was that Anneka Rice (sporting a blue jumpsuit that made her look like an errant Kwik Fit employee) had 48hrs to complete a seemingly impossible task like reintroducing an obscure species of Owl to the UK or persuading Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen to wear beige. It sadly disappeared from our screens some time around 1994 but I think the BBC should bring the show back and set Anneka a new challenge. Find a holiday cottage near the coast in the UK that sleeps 10-12 people (without anyone having to sleep in a drawer) with interior’s that don’t look like the inside of your Auntie Pat’s conservatory all for less than £5000 a week. I suspect it would make reintroducing that obscure owl look like child’s play. But fear not Anneka, I’ve got this one. In my little black book of holiday cottages is a place that ticks all of those boxes and more: Eden Hall Cottage.

The gorgeous back porch of Eden Hall Cottage which is a traditional flint cottage on the North Norfolk coast

About the Cottage

The cottage is located on the North Norfolk Coast on the so-called secret side (i.e. the stretch that is not overrun with men called Tarquin down from London for the weekend who are partial to red trousers). Eden Hall’s owners are Vicky and Chris White. If I tell you that Vicky is the founder of the beautiful home and lifestyle brand Plum & Ashby you will start to appreciate that this is going to be a pretty special place.

Edenhall as it looked when Vicky and Chris first went to view it

Vicky, Chris and their dog Bertie live in Olney (Bedfordshire) but have always been regular visitors to the Norfolk coast. They got engaged there and, in 2015, they started to look for a property they could turn into the coastal holiday home of their dreams. After two years of searching and several close misses, in November 2017 (on their shared birthday) they went to view Eden Hall Cottage and fell in love.

The Renovation

It took some vision to see it’s potential as a beautiful beach bolthole because it was, at the time, completely run down with rats in residence and a random toilet in the middle of the drive. However they were able to look past the loo and having secured the property, brought an architect on board to help them restore it to it’s former glory. Their ambitious goal was to have the property ready for its first visitors by the summer of 2018.

The inside of the property had seen better days but the potential was easy to see

Some gorgeous period features were still shining through the gloom

Having hired a team of local builders following a tender process, their first step was to strip the property back to it’s bare bones (including taking out and replacing all of the upstairs floors the joists of which turned out to be rotten). This is what the cottage looked like when I first popped round “Kevin McCLoud” style at the start of their renovation journey.

The upstairs landing and staircase. The entire upper floor had to be removed as part of the renovation and replaced after the joists were found to be rotten

Vicky and Chris kept and restored the original brick fireplace

The Interiors

By the time Malmo McCloud returned to stay as one of their first guests in October 2018, it was virtually unrecognisable. With the renovation complete, the cottage has five double bedrooms (three of which are ensuite), a stunning kitchen diner with vaulted ceilings, a relaxed sitting room with open fire, a family bathroom with a gorgeous cast iron roll top bath and a boot room and separate utility. There is a lovely secluded patio garden at the front and a large lawned area at the back (perfect for letting our pack of lad labradors off the leash).

Vicky battled her builders to have vaulted ceilings in the kitchen/dining space that is at the heart of the house

The rowing oars are a subtle nod to the cottage’s coastal location

The family bathroom blends contemporary and vintage features with a huge rolltop bath to relax in

Vicky said that her aim for the interiors was to create an English take on an American beach house and it is a triumph of Nantucket come to Norfolk. The walls are painted in a pallet of clean minimal neutral colours which act as the perfect backdrop to some seriously luxurious furnishings from brands such as Neptune, Rowen & Wren, Also Home and the White Company. There is not a jaunty anchor or whimsical shell in sight.

The relaxed sitting room is at the front of the house and opens on to a secluded patio courtyard garden

The star of the show has to be the duck egg blue Humphrey Munson kitchen which is at the heart of the house and fabulously well equipped. I loved the way that Vicky and Chris had chosen to leave sections of the original flint walls exposed in the kitchen to provide a rustic contrast to the contemporary units.

The Humphrey Munson kitchen Vicky chose in duck egg blue works perfectly with the flint walls left exposed

Marble worktops and brass taps add a vintage edge to the

We stayed at the house as a group of ten (with 5 friends rather than 5 children I have previously failed to mention in case you are wondering). The layout of the cottage is perfect for groups of friends or families.. Upstairs are two generous double bedrooms (one of which is ensuite) and a further single with bunk beds and some lovely touches for children staying like a minature teddy version of Bertie the dog. Upstairs is also host to the family bathroom of dreams which has Georgian style panelled walls, a huge roll top bath and gorgeous brass taps. The bath products are all from Plum & Ashby’s beautiful range made in the UK.

The upstairs ensuite bedroom with gorgeous striped headboard and exposed wooden beams

I have this thing with the amazing honeycomb tiles on the floor in the ensuite

The second upstairs double bedroom which is a great size

The family bathroom with fabulous Georgian style pannelling

The lovely single bedroom complete with bunk beds and lots of thoughtful touches for junior guests

I love that Vicky and Chris were able to keep the original window frames

Downstairs are two further double bedrooms both of which are ensuite. This layout meant that those in our party with kids could sleep upstairs whilst those without occupied the bedrooms downstairs so that they were spared a 7:30am wake up by the Octonauts/Fireman Sam/Mr Tumble emptying his spotty bag.

One of the downstairs double bedrooms. I love the panelling painted in a lucious dark green

Pinstripe cushions from Also Home up the comfort levels in all the bedrooms

The bedrooms are all beautiful but the one to fight over is definitely the master suite off the kitchen which has both a four poster bed and roll top bath of it’s own. It is set off the kitchen/diner and is like a mini hotel in it’s own right. I loved the vintage boathouse sign that hangs above the doorway to this room adding a nod to the coast.

Prepare to duke it out for who gets to sleep in the stunning master bedroom

The four poster bed of my dreams from the White Company in the master bedroom

A peek into the ensuite which has a roll top bath of it’s own

We all then enjoyed big communal breakfasts together with papers around the huge kitchen table which can easily seat 12. Bacton, where the cottage is based has a small local shop which stocks all of your bread/milk/Sunday papers essentials. Though it is not the kind of the place where you will be able to source artisan pate or gluten free granola so maybe stock up in advance if those things are your daily essentials.

Evenings were spent slobbed out on the two huge comfy sofas in front of the fire. The zinc coffee table is truly a sight to behold, I am pretty sure that it may be bigger than one of our bedrooms at home. If you have been out taking the sea air during the day then coming back and running a bubble bath in the stunning main bathroom of an evening is also to be recommended.

The living room with open fire and that zinc coffee table!

I love all of the subtle nods to coastal decor that Vicky has included in the cottage without it ever feeling beach themed

Settle down on one of the two huge sofas and enjoy a film

The kind of bath you want to linger in with Plum & Ashby products on tap

The Surrounding Area

If you can bring yourself to leave the comfort of the house then there are two stunning (and nearly deserted) beaches close by. The one at Carts Gap has a little café and Happisburgh boasts a Lighthouse and an excellent playground.

The seafront in Bacton on a slightly stormy day

The lighthouse at Happisburgh which is just ten minutes drive from the house

Bacton woods close to the house offer excellent dog walking/Gruffalo hunting opportunities and if you are in need of a National Trust top up then Felbrigg Hall is just 10 minutes away. The delights of the rest of the North Norfolk coast are also within easy reach with Holt (a lovely Georgian market town) just twenty minutes drive and beyond that gems including Wells on Sea, Blakney, Stiffkey, Holkham and more.

The harbour in Blakeney a lovely place to visit about an hours drive from the cottage

HUge open skies and miles of sand on Holkham beach

Disclosure 5 minutes after this idyllic mother and son photo was taken he did an emergency poo in a sand dune

We enjoyed a delicious pub lunch at The Victoria at Holkham and then a run on the vast and beautiful beach. We also called in at Stiffkey Stores for a coffee and spot of modern rustic interiors shopping. The kids loved a) the cabins for sitting in outside and b) the excellent selection of sweets for less than 50p on offer. I should also mention that the Gunton Arms (rated in the Top 50 places for a pub lunch by [ ]) is also just ten minutes away from the house. Be sure to reserve a table well in advance of your stay though as it gets really booked up!

The Victoria Inn at Holkham where we enjoyed a delicious pub lunch

Stepping inside Stiffkey Stores in like stepping into my Modern Rustic paradise

Some of the beautiful displays in Stiffkey Stores

So Anneka hang your jumpsuit back up and return to presenting the Sunday Morning Sizzle on Radio Colchester as this is one challenge I have solved without your helicopter even having to leave Broadcasting House. If you would like to book a stay at Edenhall Cottage click here you can also follow the cottage on instagram here. We were lucky enough to be guests of Vicky and Chris when we stayed but at less than £2000 for a stay even at the height of peak season it is a complete bargain compared to anything I have found of similar size/quality anywhere else in the UK!

*We did not pay for our stay at Eden Hall but I was not asked to produce any content in return for our stay. I am writing up our stay for the blog because it is genuinely one of the nicest places I have ever stayed and I wanted to share it with you *

A Weekend at Ivywood Cottage, Norfolk

January 5, 2019

Mr Malmo and I are not really country people. He grew up in Nottingham surrounded by bus fumes rather than bushes and, although I hail from Northumberland, 20 years of living in London have rendered me twitchy whenever I am more than 300 metres away from a filament bulb and a flat white. However, having three boys has given us a new found appreciation of wide open spaces where you can let lad/labradors off the leash with less people around to hear you loudly telling them to stop what they are doing and go for a poo or to take a SuperZing out of their nose. With this in mind my google holiday search have increasingly started to feature more escapes to the country than city breaks which is how I discovered Ivywood Cottage on the Norfolk/Suffolk border .

The black timber clad exterior of a rustic shed in the garden of Ivywood Cottage in Norfolk

About the Cottage

Ivywood Cottage is owned by Laura and James who live in the big house next door with their 3 year old identical twin boys and new baby. It was the discovery that they were expecting the twins that prompted them to trade in their one bedroom flat in Islington for James’ native Norfolk and a Georgian House in the country with the added bonus of Ivywood Cottage attached. Moving from such a busy part of North London to Redenhall was, Laura admits, a massive change. Instead of the emergency services hurting past at all hours of day and night and noisy neighbours stomping around, they now have the odd tractor trundling past and a cockerel crowing next door. But having grown up on a farm herself and James a country village it wasn't the huge shock it could have been.

The dreamy cottage exterior of Ivywood with a picture perfect porch. I love the whitewashed bricks and clematis growing up around the door

In the summer this would be the perfect spot to sit out with a glass of wine watching the sun set

Their adjustment to country life has, therefore, been fairly smooth bar some standard country-newbie errors (running out of oil...several times, forgetting they have a septic tank, not realising they had a soak-away pond, not realising the lush green garden was actually thick with ground elder and bind weed…. Reading this list revealed the depths of my own #urbanignorance because I initially thought Laura was referring to running out of olive oil here and thought a soak away pond might be some sort of cool Grand Designs style contemporary garden water feature rather than a tricksy pond drainage system.

Where most people see an old shed I see my dream modern rustic cabin with black cladding. I would love to add a garden studio at home a little bit like this. I loved the bunting strung from it

Downstairs at the Cottage

Ivywood Cottage has been beautifully restored so that you get the best of old and new. So there are gorgeous flagstone floors, exposed beams and quirky staircases but also the comfort of having a beautiful contemporary kitchen in soft grey with metro tiles and on trend copper taps and the very 21st Century pleasure for soft linen bedding from Loaf on all the beds.

I loved the whitewashed brick flooring in the living room laid in a herringbone pattern

The living room at the cottage was painted in neutral colours with texture and warmth added through touches such as the jute rug and woolen cushions and blankets

We visited in January so took full advantage of the cosy woodburner in the living room which comes complete with all the urban comforts you need to ease you into country life gently i.e. ready access to the latest copy of Kinfolk. I loved how Laura has carefully mixed interiors styles together in this room, introducing vintage pieces such as two 1950s midcentury armchairs covered in gorgeous mossy green and smokey grey velvet.

One of the changes that Laura and James made to the cottage was to add a woodburner

Laura has been really clever at blending contemporary and vintage in the cottage. I loved these velvet mid century armchairs she had had restored

City dwellers relax, the cottage was fully stocked with the latest issues of Kinfolk and Cereal Magazine

The nearest town to the cottage is Harleston where we stocked up on locally baked bread, bacon from Norfolk bred pigs and fresh orange juice for breakfast (and if I am honest also Weetabix, Nutella and Robinsons squash because my kids regard Granola and Fresh Orange Juice as their breakfast enemies ). The kitchen has a gorgeous farmhouse table, bench and tolix seats and I loved the industrial touches like the vintage lights over the island and the concrete worktops.

White metro tiles on the walls give the kitchen a contemporary feel that works with the medieval bones of the cottage

Concrete worktops contrasted with the shaker style kitchen units to add a shot of industrial style to the kitchen

Restored vintage brass taps in the kitchen with my dream Belfast sink

I loved the vintage industrial pendant lights hanging over the kitchen island

The dining table and chairs which comfortably seat 6-8 for large family breakfasts, lunches and dinners

Upstairs at the Cottage

Upstairs are two double bedrooms (one with an ensuite) and a large landing area with vaulted ceiling which houses a sofa bed meaning the cottage can comfortably sleep six making it ideal for a family break, a weekend away with friends or a romantic retreat with your partner where you can enjoy spaces in your togetherness i.e. escape their snoring if you need to!

The vaulted ceiling landing space which has a sofa bed. I loved the pinstripe blinds

High ceilings and gorgeous exposed oak beams in the landing area. I liked the modern twist added by the contemporary bulb lights

I loved the panelling that had been added to the second double bedroom and the smoky grey colour on the walls

The combination of linen bedding and cast iron radiators in the bedrooms make them super warm and toasty

There are a plethora of lovely country walks you can do from the cottage and a host of country pubs dotted all around. Laura’s favourite walk is a big loop from the house which just happens (!) to pass three pubs along the way. The last pub (about a 10 minute walk from the house) has a super children's play park a stones through away #parentingwin. After you have been out to take in the country air come home and warm up in the huge roll top bath. I have never been a huge shower curtain fan but the yellow and white candy striped one at Ivywood totally changed my view. I would happily have it cling to my naked body (if you are reading Ryan Gosling have similar thoughts about you).

The vintage sink and vanity area in the gorgeous rustic bathroom

Pale pink metro tiles add a contemporary twist in the bathroom and provide contrast to the timber walls and wooden floors

The yellow and white shower curtain that frames the roll top bath

Exploring the surrounding area

Whilst the cottage is perfectly positioned for enjoying the best of the countryside there are also plenty of lovely coffee and cake shops nearby should you need a #FlatWhiteFix. One of Laura’s favourite cafes, Marsh Larder, is on a local farm and when it's warm, you can sit outside with a glass of prosecco, eating homemade cake whilst the cows in the field next to you gaze on. Or, if, like me, you have a slight fear of bovine animals, why not try the Earsham Street Cafe in Bungay who serve up an awesome homemade cake. Bungay also has some great antiques and interiors shops and Laura recommends checking out Naken Interiors in Beccles who stock great brands like Ferm Living. Slightly further afield are all of the delights of the Suffolk coast. We worked our way over to Southwold one day via Darsham Nurseries which serves up delicious breakfasts and lunches in a garden nursery (think Petersham Nurseries rather than Dobbies Garden Centre).

Darsham Nurseries is a must visit place for delicious lunches and brunches close to the Suffolk Coast

I loved the vintage mirrors and industrial pendant lighting in Darsham Nurseries cafe

The reclaimed wood clad bar at Darsham Nurseries was ticking all my modern rustic boxes

There are great beach walks to enjoy at Dunwich, Covehithe, Aldeburgh, Thorpness and Southwold to name but a few and even more great pubs and bakeries to sample. No self respecting instagrammer (or donut fan) should leave Suffolk without calling in at the Pump Street Bakery in Orford. And if you are looking for the perfect place for Sunday lunch look no further than the Unruly Pig near Woodbridge.

Miniest Malmo enjoy a romp through the sand dunes at Walberswick

The sand dunes at Walberswick beach on the Suffolk Coast

We stayed at Ivywood Cottage at a discount but even at full rates it is great value for a weekend away at around £100 a night depending on the time of year. A single hotel room can easily cost that without any of the comforts, luxuries and style that Ivywood offers. We are already thinking about coming back not least because I can’t wait to see the renovations that Laura is carrying out on their neighbouring Georgian House. I am hoping I can convince her to let me come back and do a house tour when she is finished! In the meantime if you would like to book a stay at Ivywood Cottage the link is here

Source: http://www.malmoandmoss.com

Discovering the Dutch Coast

August 19, 2018

Tell people you are going on holiday to the Maldives and you will be greeted with reactions such as "wow that sounds amazing" or "you lucky thing I am so jealous" or "you are going to have such a fabulous time". Tell them you are going to spend a week taking in the beaches of the North Sea in Holland and you are more likely to encounter perplexed looks (think Joey from Friend's smell the fart acting face) and querying comments such as "Holland? That is an unusual choice" or "What made you decide to go there?" Chances are nobody will say "Ohh Holland, you are going to love the stunning coastline, oodles of beach clubs with amazing boho interiors and tiny hamlets over looking the water with cobbled streets and clapboard houses." Well, unless you tell Kinship Creative, my Scandi Sister from another mother that is.

The gorgeous interior of Branding Beach Club

It was on her instagram feed a year or so ago I first spotted an amazing looking beach bar with bleached rattan furniture and rustic textures galore that I mistook for a hotspot in Ibiza but which turned out to be on the Dutch coast just 30 mins away from Amsterdam, a city we had a one night stand with (not in) last February. One night was enough to make me think I would very much like to go steady with the Dutch capital city. Dotted as it is with beautiful buildings, amazing cafes, cool lifestyle and homeware stores and great museums and parks to keep kids entertained.

Amsterdam through the eyes of Petite Passport

So just after Christmas I started doing my Air BnB research. It quickly became apparent that to stay in central Amsterdam itself in the Summer holidays in something that was not a shoebox or a youth hostel (although to be fair some of those looked quite nice) would potentially cost more than the UK's Brexit bill. I was about to give up when I widened out my search area a little bit and spotted a clapboard house located on a dyke (an inland sea) about 15 mins drive outside of Amsterdam which fitted the bill perfectly.

Talk about kerb appeal, our Air BnB for the week

Sometimes in life things which look great in a photo or on the TV turn out to be disappointing in real life. Like Dermot O'Leary for example who I used to be rather partial to until I spotted him in Euston WH Smith and realised he is about the size of a small Irish Leprechaun in the flesh. Happily when we arrived out our home in the Holland for the week it turned out we had the luck of the Irish on our side. Click here for the Air BnB link but the pictures really can't convey what an amazingly idyllic setting it is in. Durgerdam is a tiny Hamlet of impossibly appealing houses looking out to sea. Our view to the front of the house was of boats bobbing in the harbour and sailing in the sea beyond and from the back there were meadows with sheeps and cows grazing with a stream running out throught the field.

The beautiful veranda looking out over meadows

The house is arranged over 3 levels and is a perfect base for a family break. The owners also have three sons of very similar ages to ours so there were a wealth of toys and activities to keep the trio of todgers entertained including a pool table, a mini astroturf pitch a full scale basketball net and a sandpit all in a safely enclosed garden. This meant that I actually managed to spend ten minutes lying in the huge hammock on the veranda which wraps around the house without anyone under the age of 8 appearing to tell me they were bored, had accidentally flushed their lego down the loo/wanted to use my phone to play a game that involves a sausage on legs running an assault course that would consume my annual data allowance.

Anyone for Tennis/Volleyball/Football/Basketball ? The mini astroturf pitch in the garden kept the boys very happily entertained as did the cows who would occasionally pitch up to spectate over the fence

There was also a huge range of indoor toys to keep them happy

There are 4 bedrooms, two double, two single kids room and two bathroom all decorated in a crisp clean Scandi inspired style with some gorgeous rustic features like the pine cladding wall in the main bedroom and concrete sinks in both of the bathrooms. It is a style I am going to call Netherlands Nordic.

I loved the wood cladding wall which added a rustic edge to the Scandi decor

The real jewel in the crown though is the kitchen which leads out on to the wrap around veranda I mentioned. This is where we spent most of our time with breakfasts around the huge oval table which had a really cool built in plywood benches to sit on with lots of storage incorporated. Dinners were taken out on the deck watching the sun go down over the fields. The kitchen leads through to a living space and kids play corner and I loved the crittal style windows that linked the two spaces and the timber ceilings in the kitchen which added a touch of cabin chic to proceedings.

I loved this idea of having custom built ply seating with storage incorporated

The wooden clad ceiling was one of my favourite features

As were the crittal style windows linking the kitchen to the living space

10 minutes up the road from the house is a Landmarkt supermarket for all of your grocery requirements. I think it might be the Dutch equivalent of Whole Foods judging by the amazing range of mouthwatering fresh produce and slightly eye watering prices. It is definetely not the cheapest place to stock up on nappies and bin bags but all of the food on offer was delicious. There is also a lovely little restaurant in Durgerdam with tables right on the water and seems to be the place that Amsterdammers like to come and moor their boats and grab a bite to eat and glass of wine of a weekend so make sure to book in advance.

The local bar and restaurant in Durgerdam

Spotted on one of our evening strolls, my dream house though think it is technically a boat shed....

The weather when we were there was amazing so we were happy to have the option of cooling down by going or a swim in the sea from the pontoons leading out to sea or to let the kids paddle in the shallow waters from a little beach just 5 mins walk from the front door of the house.

At the end of this track was a little beach where you could swim in the inland sea just 5 mins walk from the house

If you can tear yourself away from this little corner of paradise then Amsterdam is just on your doorstep and you are within an easy drive of the beaches to the North. I have rounded up below a few of my favourite places that we visited but it is a far from comprehensive guide to all of the delights that Amsterdam and the coast have to offer (and definitely doesn't include delights including ping pong balls I am afraid). I hope to go back many times to this gorgeous area to build up the Malmo & Moss guide gradually!

Amsterdam

Westergasfabriek

Having kids is a wonderful life enriching experience but it does mean sacrificing some of the things you previously took for granted. Like the ability to cough without also doing a little wee or any hope of going to the toilet without someone bursting in within two minute of your cheeks hitting the seat. Mooching whilst on a city break is another one to add to the list. By which I mean idly wondering pretty streets with no clear aim other than pottering in and out of little boutiques and stopping in whichever bijou winebar, cute cafe or rustic restaurant takes your fancy. If, like me, you are exploring Amsterdam whilst also keeping an eye on 3 boys, 3 footballs and with a buggy more heavily loaded than an Eddie Stobbart lorry then head to the Westerpark neighbourhood and explore the Westergasfabriek, the site of a former gas works which has been redeveloped into a beautiful park and cultural complex with indie shops, elecetic eateries, an arthouse cinema and brewery all housed in gorgeous old buildings. We ate at Westergas Terrass which had statement boho lighting, industrial textures and vintage features and tables opening onto a huge public space in which the boys could run around and play whilst we waited for the food to arrive.

Parental heaven: a table overlooking an open space so the kids don't have to sit down until the food arrives on the table at the Westergas TerrassWestergas Terrase

The interiors of the former industrial building were right up my street

Dignita

On the other side of town, the Vondelpark runs through the centre of the City with miles of cycle paths, open space and playgrounds for kids to explore. Just aroound the corner from the park is Dignita which sounds like it might specalise in Euthansia but which is actually a kid friendly cafe that serves a mean brunch, They have a play area to enterain the kids and a licensed bar should you fancy a bloody mary with your eggs benedict.

Pluk

If you are in Amsterdam unencumbered by junior chaperones then the 9 Streets is the area to head to for mooching. There are a myriad of gorgeous lifestyle stores and cafes to while away the day in. By allowing the boys to plunder my annual data allowance watching Thomas the Tank Engine/Angry Birds/Fifa rerun videos on my phone we managed to squeeze in an instagrammable brunch at Pluk, a cafe within a lovely lifestyle store with plenty to tempt you in the way of food and homewares.

The cakes were as delicious as the decor

And there was lots of lovely home ware to tempt you over your cup of tea

Zandvoort & Noordwijk

The nearest beach to Amsterdam is in Zandvoort about 30 mins drive away and then slightly further up the coast is Noordwijk. The towns themselves are nothing to write home about (there is a slight air of Soviet by sea about the drab concrete buildings that line the seafronts) but when you get down onto the beach all thoughts of Gorbachov will be forgotten. The beaches are miles long, wide open and, compared to Majorca or the South of France, relatively deserted. The sea is perfect for swimming in and surprisingly warm and there are shallow inland channels perfect for kids to paddle in without any fear of being swept out to the North Sea.

The real stars of the show are, however, the beach clubs which, with their relaxed rustic boho vibes will have you thinking you are in Ibiza not the Netherlands. Think bleached wood, rattan lampshades and lashings of botanicals mixed in. Our three favourites (all under the same ownership) were Hippie Fish on Zandvoort beach and Tulum and Branding Beach Club in Noordwijk. The atmosphere was super relaxed and friendly with great brasserie type food with an asian fusion twist being served up. The prices were not the cheapest but definitely not as eye watering as St Tropez. When the sun goes down bonfires are lit and festoon lights turned on to add to the magic

I loved the floor to ceiling crittal style windows in Tulum beach club

I loved all of the statement lighting at Tulum

The concrete hexagonal tiles in the kitchen at the Branding Beach Club really caught my eye

I loved this idea of creating a feature wall with old door panels at Branding Beach Club

Best Places to stay in Malmö and Skåne County

July 31, 2018

Oh goodie our plane is delayed by two and half hours said no parent travelling with 3 young children ever. With all electronic devices capable of playing C-Beebies having been drained of their batteries before we even left the tarmac at Gatwick, by the time we arrived in Malmö at 1am in the morning I would, quite frankly, have happily slept in the stockroom of the local Ikea. I think the passenger in seat 11E who was hit in the face by a polystyrene recreation of Mr Tumble during an in flight toddler meltdown would have happily seen us locked in said stockroom. Luckily, however, we did not end up bedded down amongst the Billy Bookcases and below is my round up of the best places to stay in Malmö whether you are travelling Hans Solo, in a couple, with friends or as a family.

Malmö

The Story Hotel

The first hotel we were booked into the was the Story Hotel. Centrally located on the waterfront, it is a great place to stay if you are after somewhere that has Scandi interiors with an industrial edge. Rooms come with great views over Malmö although you may find yourself just lying in bed staring at the amazing concrete ceilings instead. If that sounds a little bit multi-storey car park then let me assure you there is not a whiff of the NCP about the decor as industrial features are balanced by warm tones and textures such as velvet chairs in deep burnt orange, warm copper lighting and thick natural linen curtains.

The hotel is also home to the only rooftop restaurant and bar in Malmö which has amazing views across the city and then out across the water to Copenhagen. Being in the company of three kids under 8 we naturally had about as much chance of sipping a quiet cocktail at sunset as I have of slipping into size 6 skinny jeans and going out on a date with Ryan Gosling but we did get to enjoy the views of Malmö over our museli in the morning instead.

The miniest Malmo enjoying breakfast with a view at the Story Hotel

Downstairs off the lobby looking out over the harbour is the restaurant Lokale 17. It mirrors the industrial interiors of the hotel and had a really great atmosphere, with a cosy seating area and a buzzy bar. Whilst the Story Hotel may not be predominantly marketed at families we did still find it worked really well as we had interconnecting rooms (the wholly grail for a family of five) . It had a really relaxed friendly atmosphere and there were lots of lovely touches like a teddy left in the cot for our youngest and chocolates in the room for the eldest two (even there beige palettes were slightly affronted by the liquorice flavour choice). It's location is also perfect for exploring Malmö.

If I was travelling with just Mr Malmo or some girlfriends and therefore had more than a 1 in 1.6million chance of a lie in, then the other hotel that caught my eye is the Hotel Duxiana. The rooms all look beautifully designed with less of an industrial edge and more of a classic Scandinavian simplicity about them and because the hotel is owned by the luxury bed manufacturer Duxiana, you are pretty much guaranteed an amazing nights sleep!

If you have less Kroner clunking around in your pocket then the Clarion Hotel & Congress which is literally right next to the Malmo Saluhall (so maybe pack extra elasticated pants if you stay here) also looks a good option. I did not visit it personally but I like the industrial styling in the restaurant and bar area from the website

Picture credit: Clarion Hotel & Congress

The OhBoy Hotel

For the second half of our stay in Malmö we moved to the OhBoy Hotel which has 31 loft type rooms split over two levels and equipped with kitchenettes meaning you can easily self cater if you are facing a #ryebreadrebellion from your kids. The interiors are light and bright using natural textures such a wood and brushed concrete and all the rooms feature locally designed and produced furniture from southern Swedish creatives. There is a strong emphasis on sustainability with every room being provided with a bike free of charge meaning you can easily navigate Malmö without needing a car.

The kitchenette at the Ohboy had gorgeous concrete worktops

The hotel is located in the Västra Hamnen area of the city which is a former industrial area by the water which has been completely redeveloped and is now one of Malmös most exclusive neighbourhoods . It is the perfect place to stay if you are travelling with kids as there are some lovely cafes, brilliant playgrounds, a beach and gorgeous long wooden walkways stretching along besides the sea which are perfect for scooting and cycling down. Oh and if your kids are of the teenage variety they will love the shiny new skate park that is just opposite the hotel.

Air BnB Options

The Ohboy is a good compromise between a hotel and self catering accomodation but if you would prefer a little bit more space then there are also some great Air BnB options in Malmö. Two to save to your wishlist include this 1 bed close to the city centre with great Scandi/Industrial interiors or, a little further out, this 3 bed villa with rugged Swedish good looks would make a great base for a family.

Skåne County

Hus 57

We used the small town of Ängelholm as our base for exploring Skåne County which is about 1.5hrs away from Malmo. It is quite a quiet small town and we stayed in the Hus 57 whilst we were there which is part of the Best Western group. But this was no functional business hotel it has been designed with an instagram generation in mind as the decor is an super cool mix of industrial textures, luxe fabrics and quirky design touches all for a super affordable room rate. I particularly loved the velvet sofas in the lounge areas and the restaurant design.

I loved the concrete walls and floors against the luxe fabrics in jewel colours

We stayed in interconnecting rooms on the top floor (the ultimate family of five travel goal!) which opened on to a securely enclosed roof terrace. The hotel works great if you are travelling with kids as the rooms are really spacious and in the basement there is a huge games room with table tennis, table football and lots of board games. It was hard to lure the mini malmos away from it to explore the stunning coastline! There is also a small spa, pool and jacuzzi to enjoy.

The bathroom made me go home wanting to scallop tile something!

Hotel Skansen

If you want to stay somewhere a little more lively and closer to the sea (and have a bit of extra budget!) then without a doubt I would say book the Hotel Skansen in Båstad. It overlooks the most stunning golden sandy beach and had a gorgeous restaurant with floor to ceiling windows that let you lap up that view as the sun goes down. It was home to the Swedish football team when we popped in for a drink meaning I got to sip a glass of wine whilst taking in an even more pleasant view.

Air BnB Options

There are a pleotora of lovely Air BnBs you could make your base for exploring Skåne County. A few of the my favourites include this gorgeous modern bungalow with a pool in smart seaside town Bastad or this simple, contemporary timber house in the countryside need Torekov

*Thank you to Visit Sweden for hosting us whilst we were in Malmo and Skåne County and covering the cost of our accomodation*

Malmö and Skåne County with Kids

July 15, 2018

When I was pregnant with my first child, one of my friends (who is admittedly a pessimist) told me that there is no such thing as a holiday once you have had kids. By which I think she meant I could kiss goodbye to the days of lounging around an infinity pool with nothing more pressing to worry about than where my next margarita was coming from and whether I had brought enough books with me to last the fortnight (#kindleluddite).

It is certainly true that the arrival of the trio of todgers has cut down the amount of time I spend horizontal on a sun lounger (it is hard to lounge when you are worrying about a toddler falling/pooing in the pool) and ensured that I am now more likely to go home having read the New Adventures of Spot rather than anything off the Booker Shortlist. However, I am a firm believer that you can still have a relaxing time on holiday with kids without handing over 3 months salary to Centre Parcs. If you are looking for a destination where you can lap up great design, interiors and impossibly beautiful blonde men named Lars whilst the kids experience premium playgrounds, sandy beaches and acres of open space then look no further than Malmö and Skåne County. Here are five reasons why it is the perfect place to holiday with kids and my top tips for things to do with them whilst you are there (none of which cost the earth).

Perfect Playgrounds

It is fair to say that with 3 kids under 7 approximately 33% of my time is spent either in search of or in playgrounds. So I know my swings from my roundabouts when it comes to what makes a good one. Malmö has hands down some of the best I have ever experienced. There was not a dog poo, broken swing or treacherous slide in sight (I am looking at you Oakwood Park). In fact they are so good that you will need all your best parental negotiating skills to get the kids to leave them without the kind of reaction Donald Trump would have if he was served a quinoa burger.

This amazing playground was just around the corner from the OhBoy Hotel

Our favourites were one off Lillas Varvgatan near where we were staying at the OhBoy Hotel, the Slottsträdgårdens and Folkets Park but rumour has it Pildams Park is also well work a visit (we didn’t make it there on account of my 5 year old’s leg batteries running out that day). The Swedes are also great at combining their stellar playgrounds with instagrammable cafes. My favourite has to be the Slottsträdgårdens Kafè (@Slottsträdgårdens Kafè.) where we headed for for a cup of tea and some fika after a sphincter clenching hour of letting the boys climb the trees in the neighbouring park. I am not sure my Swedish vocabularly extends to "please could you call the fire service, my son appears to have climbed a tree the size of the Eiffel Tour and got stuck". You can recover your calm siting outside under the shade of rippling trees or duck inside the greenhouse strung with bunting and dotted with candles

Fantastic Foodhalls

I love almost everything about Scandinavia but if you are travelling with companions who turn their noses up at anything non beige/vaguely textured/potentially containing vitamins it’s cuisine can, at times, be a little bit of a challenge. FYI if you ever want your kids to tidy their bedroom just plop a herring rollmop down in front of them and tell them it is that or putting their lego away. However, take them to either Malmö Saluhall or Höganäs Saluhall and you can guarantee you will have no ryebread revolution on your hands.

There are a host of different stalls catering for all palettes and both are located in gorgeous old industrial buildings meaning you can lap up the bare bricks and rustic textures whilst they are tucking into ice cream from Favvo Glas, Pasta from Papi or cinnamon buns from St Jakob Stenugnsbageri.

The gorgeous industrial seating area in the Saluhall in Malmö

Sampling the delights of a pastry from St Jacobs Stenugnsbageri

If, like my kids, sitting down for longer than 10 minutes at time, you can grab the makings of a gorgeous picnic and head around the corner to Slottsträdgårdens where there is acres of green space and trees to climb to burn off some post lunch energy. If you have kids old enough to understand the concept that if you throw yourself out of a boat you will get wet and force your mum to make like a podgy Pamela Anderson to rescue you from the water, then you can also hire a boat to gently explore.

Beautiful Beaches

Malmö itself has a small sandy beach which looks out over the water to Copenhagen but hop in the car and within an hour you can be exploring impossibly pretty cobbled fishing villages with miles of unspoilt coastline to enjoy. Our favourite spots were Mölle, Torekov and Båstad. We spent a very happy morning exploring the dunes and rocks of Torekov where old ladies whizzed passed in dressing gowns on their bikes on the way for their daily swim. In the Summer you can catch a ferry across to Hallands Väderö an uninhabited nature reserve (thanks to @myscandinavianhome for the tip). If you are in Mölle head for Mölle Krukmakeri. You will initially think I am crazy telling you to take kids to a pottery but swerve the pots and head to the quirky café where they will be too distracted by quirky things like a giant stuffed tiger dressed as an airline pilot to cause any ceramic calmamities.

Exploring the gorgeous cobbled streets of Torekov

Our favourite beach of all was in the upscale resort of Båstad where the Swedish Tennis Open is held everyyear. There is a long flat golden sandy beach, shallow waters perfect for splashing around in and pontoons leading out to sea off which older/more proficient swimmers will love jumping off. In the Summer months there is cool beach club at the top of the beach and if you can hose them down and wrestle them back into their clothes then the swish Hotel Skansen is actually remarkably child friendly with friendly waiters and kids activitiy packs on hand.

Modern Museums

Going round museums with kids can be somewhat of a hit and miss experience. Find a good one and they will be channelling their inner David Attenboroughs or Mini Monets but visit a dud and you will find yourself setting a new Guinness World Record for the number of times one person can say sshhhhh, don't touch that, don't climb that in one hour. Luckily Malmo has some great ones. Our favourites were the Malmo Hus which is a castle in the middle of a moat inside which there is a mini interactive aquarium and ramparts to explore. The aquarium was a particular hit with my kids because it had lots of things they could touch and climb on without setting off any alarms. Even Mr Malmo couldn't resist sticking his head inside a giant diving helmet in the middle of a tank of eels.

For an experience that doesn't involve eels then head to the Konst Hall. It is in a beautiful old orangery building and had a giant sculpture exhibition inside when we visited. It looks on first glance like the kind of place that might not love an invasion of sticky fingered noisy kids but it actively welcomes them, running free crafting workshops in a room off the main exhibition space. There is also a gorgeous courtyard cafe where they can be as noisy as they like and another brilliant playground literally right outside. If art is your thing then the Moderna Museum is also not to be missed.

Strolls by the Sea

If you are staying in Malmö with kids then I would recommend basing yourself in the Västra Hamnen area of the City, a former shipyard which has been transformed into a sustainable area of contemporary housing with a harbour bobbing with boats. There are stretches of wooden walkways looking out towards the sea dotted with beautiful Scandinavians (young and old) who have come to enjoy the sunset and a swim in the sea off bleached wooden pontoons. There is plenty of room for kids to run/scoot of some steam and then Vespa is a great spot to grab a pizza and watch the sun go down/watch the sun go down whilst also watching the kids to make sure they aren't about to attempt to swim to Copenhagen. This area is also home to the famous turning torso building which fascinated our kids. Questions they asked that I couldn't answer, how do they clean the windows, why does it look like a twiglet and why can't we live there (well I could answer that one, it is something to do with not having a spare 500 million Kroner down the back of the sofa)

Pizza from Vespa as the sun went down was a holiday highlight

Bountiful Buns

I have never known a tantrum that can’t be quelled by a cinnamon bun (well apart from the one Mr Malmo had when I gave away to Oxfam a jumper which he loved by which I thought made him look like he was on day release from a juvenile detention centre). If you need a little cinnamon related bribery up your sleeve then there are numerous spots around the city to pick up a bun to stifle a toddler rebellion. . Some of our favourites were from Söderberg & Sara in the St Knut area of the city and on the other side of town the cardamon infused buns from Bagaren & Bonden were out of this world.

Behold bountiful bus at Söderberg & Sara

Thank you to Visit Sweden UK for hosting us whilst we were in Malmö and Skåne County. Whilst our stay on this occasion was in partnership with Visit Sweden UK, we have visited and loved Malmö as a family and will definetely be returning in the future. If you have any questions at all about travelling there with kids please feel free to ask in the comments below.

Malmo & Moss Sleeps: The Danish Hamptons

October 1, 2017

Prior to July this year, if you had said Tisvideleje to me I would have said bless you. Fast forward 3 months and I still can't pronounce the name of this small village on the Danish coast without sounding like I am gargling mouthwash, but I have found my holiday heaven. The name "Tisvideleje" is derived from "Ti's vælde", meaning a place dedicated to the God Tyr which makes me think that he must be the Danish god of coastal chic. I discovered Tisvildleje after asking Danish instagrammer Kirsten Skovbon where cool Copenhageners liked to go on holiday in Denmark. It turns out this is their Hamptons, tucked away on the North coast of Zealand just 80 minutes on the train from Copenhagen. It takes little bit longer by car but it is a beautifully scenic drive through small towns, woodlands and then the last stretch right by the sea.

Beautiful beach huts dotted the coast as we drove to Tisvildeleje

Where We Stayed

Obviously ideally I would have been gazing out of the window drinking in the gorgeous nordic scenery listening to a soundtrack of Sigur Ros or something similarly etheral and evocative but being in a car with 3 kids I just had to try and imagine that as Imelda Stanton's Calypso version of A Squash and a Squeeze blared out instead. With Staunton's jaunty acapella rendition still ringing in our ears, we arrived at what was to be our home in the Hygge Hamptons: the Tisjvidleje Strand Hotel.

My favourite part of the hotel, the gorgeous internal courtyard

I had an instant #ClapboardClimax the moment we pulled up outside. The hotel oozed Cape Cod being housed in a gorgeous white clapboard building on a hill with front and back terraces filled with pale bamboo furniture. Inside it was like walking into the pages of Kinfolk with effortlessly stylish designer Danes at every turn. It quickly became apparent that by having a penis but no ponytail Mr Malmo was horribly off message compared to the rest of the male hotel residents. With his short back and side from AJ's Barber Shop he was little bit like Alan Sugar to their Joaquin Cortes at breakfast.

We had an interconnecting family room just off the gorgeous internal courtyard which was my favourite bit of the hotel. It had pale bamboo sofas with huge squishy cushions to lounge on and the whole area was strung with festoon lights and some very swoonworthy rattan pendant lights. The room itself was decorated in simple neutral colours although we did have a very un kinfolk rear view of the back of the kitchen and a fire escape. Am sure that for some trip advisors this would have been a big deal but we were just happy to have two rooms together so we didn't have to spend our evenings playing Scrabble in the toilet so as not to wake the kids.

Breakfast was included in the rate and it was lovely to sit sipping tea in a room lit by twinkling candles in the morning with a simple selection of breads, meats and eggs to choose from. There were lots of young Danish families there and babies are well catered for with very instagram friendly vintage wooden highchairs on offer (although if anyone else has a Highchair Houdini on their hands these are not particularly practical on account of their lack of straps).

Ten minutes down the hill from the hotel was the beach which is overlooked by thatched cottages dotted in behind the dunes with rocky groines leading out to sea. When I was not trying to stop the toddler from eating sand or locating a small lego catwoman my son buried "under a white rock" on a beach of 10,000 white rocks, I enjoyed channelling my inner Saga Noren and gazing out across the sea to Sweden.

5 minutes walk the other way from the hotel was the centre of Tisvilde which is dotted with lovely bakeries, cafes and interiors shops. My favourite cafe was Brod & Vin which bakes Kanelsnegle to die for (pop your elasticated waist trousers on and go and try the chocolate Snegle but be warned there will be no going back to Deliciously Ella's sweet potato brownies after you have opened Pandora's chocolate snegle box). Just across the road from Brod & Vin was also my favourite shop, No 17 Limited, which blended clothes and interiors together in a way that made you want to remortgage your house and buy everything in the shop.

We also loved Sommerhaven which was essentially a coffee hut in somebody's front garden. There was a slide, trampoline and clapboard wendy house so the kids were happy whilst we were getting our caffeine fix. My favourite part was the pallet seating and cool cushion combo that had me rummaging in skips looking for pallets to recreate the look once we got home. They also seemed to have mastered the art of planting raised flower beds with plants that blend well together and flourish rather than our own attempts at home which always end in everything dying except mint which then spreads everywhere faster than a veruca at a swimming pool.

I loved the super sweet little wendy house

How do they get those flowerbeds looking so abundant?

Another one of our favourites was the pizza place near the station called Den Rode Tomat because, if I am honest, whilst I love almost everything about Denmark, there comes a point for me when rye bread and pickled herrings just aren't hitting the spot. At which point I need an injection of melted cheese which this place delivered with knobs on. It serves great, reasonably priced pizza, has a cool bar made out of a shipping container, a lovely outdoor seating area with mini playground too. The place we fell most in love with, however, was the Helene Kilde Hotel.

Helenekilde is located right above the beach in a stunning white house which was originally built as a summer home by a construction magnate called Mr. Grüner for his wife in 1896. Oh to be Mrs Grüner! In 1904 it was converted into a summer and seaside boarding house and then, in 2008, was renovated into the paradise that it is today by former ballet dancer Alexander Kølpin. He also owns the Strand Hotel where we stayed so is clearly a major #DanishHamptonsMogul. It has a gorgeous veranda, outdoor terrace and gardens that stretch down to the sea. When we were there people were preparing for a birthday party winding hundreds of fairy lights into the bushes and hanging photographs from the trees. What I wouldn't have given to be a guest at that party. Inside is just as beautiful as outside with log burners for the winter months and lots of hygge corners to hideaway in.

A gorgeous gallery wall in the reception area

I am hoping for a lottery win before we next visit so that we can check in. We would probably be a few Kroner closer to that dream if I hadn't discovered Esther's Garage on the road out of Tisvileleje. It is doesn't look like much at first glance but inside it is a complete treasure trove of homeware both contemporary and vintage, all beautifully curated and displayed.

If you want to explore a little further up the coast then I cannot recommend a day trip to Elsinore highly enough and not because I am a #HugeHamletBuff. Bear with me when I say it is, in fact, because of the Maritime Museum. Don' t worry, I am not a secret naval nerd, I don't know my port from my starboard. But you don't have to be interested in boats to enjoy this place. Converted from an old dry dock, the interior is an industrial luxe lovers dream being hewn out of concrete with huge panels of architectural glass. But it is not just the building that is stunning. Everything had been so beautifully curated that at times I forgot I was learning about Danish maritime history and just stood spell bound by huge, scrolling projections of old shipping routes.

One of the stunning video installations at the Martime Museum

It strikes a great balance in appealing to both adults and kids. When we visited, there was a treasure hunt for the boys to do which ended in a lego workshop room where boxes as big as sheds all filled with lego awaited them. If you can tear them away from that lego mega load, then be sure to take in the cafe which is housed in an exposed concrete atrium and will take your breath away.

Have you ever seen a museum cafe like it?

We returned home from our trip to Tisvildeleje dreaming of owning a cabin on this stretch of coast but alas only Danish residents are able to buy property in Denmark. So, whilst I wait for an answer back fromPeter Schmeichelto my bigamous marriage proposal, I will have to settle for the best Air BnB has to offer instead. I figure this one would do. If you would like to get your hygge on in the Danish Hamptons then read more here.

Malmo & Moss Sleeps: Copenhagen

September 3, 2017

I spent my formative years in the North-East of England where my only contact with Scandinavia was the Gateshead branch of Ikea and even on trips there I was initially more interested in the mini hotdogs and 50p whippy icecreams than the bleached birch Billy Bookcases, Sodermalm sofas and fabulous faux sage. But somewhere along the way I discovered my inner Agnetha and this North-Eastern girl went Nordic. I began to dream of moving to a Scandinavian country and even went to so far as to take Swedish lessons with Mr Malmo who proved his undying love and devotion to me by spending his Thursday evenings desperately trying to form a Swedish sentence that didn't just sound like he was trying to clear a sticky piece of flem out of his throat. When it became obvious that we would struggle to ask for a Daim bar in a Netto we downgraded the plans to emigrate to frequent holidays there instead. Two Summers ago we went Scandi with the kids for the first time (if you don't count frequent trips to Edmonton Ikea) staying in Copenhagen and then crossing the bridge (yes, The Bridge) to Malmo to stay in the house of one of my all time favourite bloggers My Scandinavian Home. We had a brilliant time so this year, having sired another son (in medieval times I would surely have been given a cow or something by now) we decided to head back to Copenhagen.

The beautiful living room of My Scandinavian Home

Where We Stayed

I am one of life's nervous flyers. I am about as comfortable on a plane as Nigel Farage would be at a Liberal Democrat conference in a vegan cafe. However, it was not my extreme fear of flying that led to our last minute decision to drive rather than fly to Denmark. It was rather the fact that I left it until 2 weeks before the date of departure to book seats by which time return Ryanair flights were about the same price as a small helicopter. But 14 hours with 3 small children crammed into an overpacked Audi were quickly forgotten the moment we stepped inside our Air BnB apartment in Copenhagen. Even with my right eyeball still manically twitching from the 4 large cans of Redbull consumed to keep me awake on the autobahn, I could see that it was the apartment of my Danish dreams.

It is owned by a couple in their early thirties called Signe and Mark who live there with their two young children. They describe themselves in their profile as civil servants and design entrepreneurs causing me to radically re-evaluate my previous stereotypes of civil servants as people who wear short sleeve beige shirts, keep pens in their top pockets and have an encyclopaedic knowledge of Common Agricultural Policy.

The apartment is part of a block in which the Danish Prime Minister lived during the second world war. But as you can see it is no gloomy underground Anderson shelter. The main living space is a huge, double reception room with high ceilings and gorgeous sanded original wooden floors. The rest of the rooms lead off that main space and are all painted white creating a beautifully spacious, light and serene feel.

It was a case of love at first sight for the boys as well. However, it was the massive smart enabled TV loaded with car racing games rather than the Dinesen reminiscent floorboards that captured their young hearts. Whilst their new found precious bought us a few uncharacteristic holiday lie-ins, the downside was that anytime we left the apartment to take in some Danish culture at one of the many brilliant museums and galleries Copenhagen has to offer, they had a tendency to ask us at 10 minute intervals when we would be going back to the holiday home to play Nitro Blast.

I loved the the texture and colour they had added to the living room with their choice of rugs and throws

My favourite part of the apartment was, in contrast, the kitchen. It featured all the modern rustic elements that I love. Rough hewn wood: tick, earthy collections of ceramics: tick, accents of dark metallics: tick. It was a lovely space to sit with a cup of tea flicking through one of their Nordic cookbooks pretending that I am not the kind of person who thinks that rye bread should be reserved for hamsters instead of humans. We tended to eat out at lunchtime and then come back to have dinner at the apartment around the lovely rustic kitchen table having picked up ingredients from the local Meny (the Danish equivalent of Waitrose) on our way home.

There was also a branch of Lagkaghuset next door to Meny so at breakfast time, whilst one of us put the kettle on and stood in the weetabix firing line, the other would pop out to pick up the best cinnamon buns I have ever tasted (and believe me when I say I have tasted a lot!). It is a chain so you can find branches all over Copenhagen should you need a cinnamon top up at any time during the day. I guess they are the Danish equivalent of Greggs but with polished concrete floors, pale wood, twinkling candles and handsome bakery assistants called Lars.

In the evenings once we had the kids in bed we would light some candles in the kitchen (when I say we I obviously mean me as there is about the same chance of Mr Malmo independently lighting a candle as there is him suggesting we sit down to watch a Vicar of Dibley boxset) pour a glass of wine and make plans for the next day together. One of my favourite features of the kitchen was the black pendant lights hung at different heights over the table and worktops, they added a little bit of edge to all the natural textures and got me thinking about changing up our kitchen lights at home.

The kitchen looked out over a gorgeous internal courtyard which was a lovely spot to sit in the sun, watching the boys play with toys shared by all of the apartments with the Danes not being territorial over their tiny tikes. When we visited in late July there were mounds of hydrangeas in whites and pinks in full bloom to enjoy.

There were 3 bedrooms. The master bedroom was a beautiful tranquil space as it was flooded with light from the two big windows which looked out over the quiet street and a small park. The only blot on the bedroom landscape was that the bed had, as is the Scandi way, two separate single duvets on the bed rather than one double. I am not sure if this is because Danish men are chronic duvet stealers so the divorce rate is kept low by everyone having their own duvet, but I found that it meant that I frequently woke up in the night to find that Mr Malmo had rolled off with both duvets leaving me exposed to the Danish indoor elements.

Although the other two bedrooms were used as kids bedrooms, one had a double bed in and could easily have been used as an adult bedroom if you didn't mind waking up with the squad of FC Copenhagen (on the wall rather than in your bed that is unless you had enjoyed a particularly wild night on the Aquavit.) The other bedroom had a small cabin bed in and the only adult it would be suitable for would be wee Jimmy Krankie. Although the bathroom didn't have a bath it had a huge walk-in shower which was perfect for hosing down three mucky boys at the end of every day.

The Local Area

The apartment is located in the Østerbro neighbourhood and is about 15 mins walk from the City centre. It is known as the old wealthy neighbourhood in Copenhagen with lots of beautiful old architecture, broad shopping streets and leafy squares with cafes and shops. Whilst it is definitely not as hip and trendy an area as say Norreborre or Vesterbro, it is super family friendly so will work well if it is first class playgrounds rather than pulsing nightclubs you are after. If your kids are good at walking without claiming their leg batteries have run out, then take a stroll down to the lakes where there are some great restaurants and a section of townhouses so drool worthy that you will be wondering if having watched every episode of the Killing, Borgen and The Bridge will be enough to qualify you for Danish citizenship post Brexit.

2 minutes walk from the apartment was Faelled Park which our kids completely loved. It has an adventure playground, outdoor trampoline park, beach volleyball courts, football pitches, a mini traffic roadway system, a play equipment recreation of the Danish equivalent of Buckingham Palace and vast expanses of green open space. The home stadium of FC Copenhagen also borders the park if you have football fans in the family. Mr Malmo took our eldest son to see a match, buying tickets on the day that cost less than £30 for both of them.

Make sure you tune into the blog this Autumn when I will be sharing more Malmo & Moss tips on where to eat, shop and entertain kids in Copenhagen (when you can prise them away from Nitro Blast that is) and how Danish design has influenced my interiors style at home.

Malmo & Moss Diary: Camel Toe on the Camel Trail

April 13, 2017

Camel Toe on the Camel Trail

When I was 18, I cycled the Camel Trail with my ex boyfriend who liked mountain biking, bodybuilding, pimping his Fiat Punto and listening to hard house dance music. As somebody who enjoyed none of those pursuits, it was fair to say that we were fairly ill matched as a couple. The kind of bike I enjoyed riding had a basket and I didn’t really like going round corners on it, let alone down bumpy hills. My abiding memory of the excursion was not the stunning scenery but of riding along thinking “fuck off cocklord” as he shouted at me to cycle faster. I was not, therefore, in any particular hurry to revisit the Camel Trail. Given I am married to a man who is about as enthusiastic about cycling as most men are about catching chlamydia, I thought it was a pretty safe bet that I would not have to. However, we have a six-year-old son who loves his bike and can now read pretty darn well. So when we went to Padstow for fish and chips and he spotted a leaflet about hiring bikes to cycle down the Camel Trail, I knew the jig was up.

These pretty aquamarine numbers were sadly not our bikes, which of the more "practical" variety

The first challenge was working out the permeation of bikes that would enable one cycle mad six year old, two not especially competent adult cyclists, one not yet cycling four year old and a baby to make it from Padstow to Wadebridge and back. The answer was one kids' bike, one adult bike with a baby seat and one adult bike with a ride on attachment for the four year old that made it look like a cross between a penny farthing and a tandem. Sleek streamlined peleton we were not. The second challenge was finding a cycle helmet that would fit my abnormally large head. It doesn’t look that big to the naked eye, but when you start trying to put a helmet on it quickly turns out to be the size of an enormous pumpkin.

Exhibit A: Cycle Helmet perched atop my Mahooosive Head!

Having finally found something to accommodate Pumpkin Head, we popped the baby on the back of my bike to which he reacted about as calmly as a death row prisoner being invited to take a seat in an electric chair. Hoping he would like it more once we got moving, we set off down the trail. Within 200m, it became quickly apparent that my ears were not the only thing that were going to be aching by the end of the ride. The Berlin Wall was still standing the last time I wore a pair of cycling shorts so when getting dressed that morning I had gone with the next best thing: a pair of denim dungarees. However, it turns out that the reason Laura Trott does not wear dungarees for a lap of the velodrome is that they give you an acute case of camel toe on a bike.

Cheer up darling, it could be worse; you could have flange ache like Mummy — Cheer up darling, it could be worse; you could have flange ache like Mummy

With a bad case of flange ache developing and the baby still howling like a hyena, my six year old very sweetly rode alongside us to try and distract his baby brother from his two-wheeled misery. Unfortunately, he tried to do so by holding his hand which caused his front wheel to get caught in our back wheel and him to go flying over his handle bars. Only 10 minutes into the ride and with three out of five of us now howling in agony, we decided to stop for a break. Luckily this being Cornwall you are never more than 50m away from some kind of product containing clotted cream, so we were able to refuel and regain our equilibrium with a quick artery clogging snack of fudge from a beside the road bicycle snack stall.

Can't imagine why Team GB are not whizzing round the Velodrome in this get up which Mr Malmo described as CND Protestor meets Mike and the Mechanics

With the baby having downgraded his protests from completely furious to just occasionally grumpy and the injection of clotted cream having taken my mind off my front wedgie, I started to actually enjoy the ride. The trail is an old railway track that runs alongside the river so there is no need to worry about bumping into cars and the scenery is genuinely lovely with lots of little boats bobbing in the estuary and plenty of lush greenery shading the path. Our four year old loved being on the tag-a-long on the back of his dad's bike and before we knew it we had made it to Wadebridge, our halfway point. It is definitely not your picture postcard Cornish village but it has lots of quirky shops and an independent feel to it that makes it a bit like a Cornish Camden!

Bradley Wiggins could probably have cycled from Lands End to John O Groats in the time it took us to get back to Padstow but then again Bradley doesn't have to keep hopping off his bike every 3 minutes to retrieve a dummy. But we made it in the end and would definitely recommend it for a fun family day out. Just make sure you pack clothing that has a higher lycra than denim content.

Want to try it too?

We hired our bikes from Padstow Cycle Hire and it worked out at about £55 for a half day. Obviously will be cheaper as a family day out if you have a more sensible number of children than us. We were able to just turn up and hire them on the day although in height of summer may be sensible to book in advance. There are also several cycle hire places in Wadebridge such as Bridge Bike Hire should you want to do the trail the other way round.

Malmo & Moss Sleeps: The Sheepshed, North Cornwall

April 13, 2017

Our week in the Sheepshed on the North Cornwall Coast

When our Easter holiday plans fell through just a week before we were due to set off, I didn't have very high hopes of finding a replacement or at least not one that wasn't a condemned caravan in Rhyll. But just as I was punching North Wales into the Sat Nav and setting off to buy some Calor Gas, a desperate last ditch phone call to the holiday company Forever Cornwall paid off. They had a property available and a pretty amazing one at that: an eco friendly conversion of an old farm building set in a small hamlet located just inland from the stunning coastline of Bedruthan Steps. Judith Chalmers clearly had my back. We arrived on a gloriously sunny evening after a journey that had involved listening to a Basketful of Kipper more times than is advisable for anyone wishing to hold onto to their sanity and stepped out of a sweaty Audi estate and into the Cornish holiday home of my dreams. In that fantasy I can wear a wetsuit without looking like a garden slug, have hair that doesn't look like I borrowed it from Adam Ant in coastal conditions and can swim in the sea without my unusual breaststroke style causing the RNLI to launch a lifeboat.

Significant upgrade on that condemned caravan.

About the house

The Sheepshed has been converted from old agricultural barns by the TV architect Charlie Luxton (think a more surfy version of Kevin McCloud) and his simple design superbly maximises its location in an area of outstanding natural beauty. A series of huge picture windows make the most of stunning views of the garden and the fields beyond. We got a bit competitive about who could take the best sunset pic (we have 3 kids, this is how we get our kicks these days...). The kids were naturally more captivated by the massive internet enabled TV that allowed access to Netflix and Amazon Prime.

Think we can agree mine takes the prize right?!

The interiors

Inside there is not an anchor, seashell or nautical stripe in sight, The muted interiors draw heavily on natural materials and the palette of inky blues, mint greens and soft greys have a calming Nordic edge to them. I was going to describe the style as a Nordic Pine but realise that sounds a bit too much like a fragrance of toilet duck or a car air freshener. Everything has been kept deliberately simple to avoid taking away from the views and it works to great effect.

If I had any criticism at all (without sounding like the person on trip advisor who claims that a chipped toilet roll holder ruined their £10,000 holiday) it would be that the lighting in the living room is perhaps a little bit on the stark side. Even my husband (who can usually be relied upon to mock my penchant for "soft lighting") agreed that the two lighting modes on offer were basically "interrogation room" or "dentists chair". But that is a very minor quibble and to be honest I could quite happily have just turned all the lights off and just watched the sunset most nights.

The ombre curtains had me wondering whether I could dip dye mine when I got home.

The Local Area

Within 15 minutes drive of the Sheepshed are the beaches at Bedruthan Steps and Porthcothan. We loved both for different reasons. Bedruthan Steps is a big, dramatic beach that could easily be mistaken for a slice of coastline on the Great Ocean Road in Australia. If, like mine, your kids are the type that enjoy testing the robustness of your pelvic floor by scaling big rocks this is the beach for them as there are both lots of rocks (big and small) to climb and caves to explore. There is a National Trust Cafe at the top of the cliff that looks and smells a bit like Dot Cotton's front room but which serves up great bacon baps and cream teas with an option for eating outside.

Porthcothan is an altogether different type of a beach and, although it lacks the intial wow factor of Bedruthan, was our favourite. The first plus point in its favour is that you can walk straight onto it whereas Bedruthan requires you to navigate down 100+ steps. With a buggy in tow, this can feel like you are unwittingly taking part in the type of physical challenge Royal Marines undertake to earn their green beret.

Despite the easier access, most days we practically had it to ourselves and it's large flat expanse of sand was perfect for playing football and cricket on.

It also has lots of great nooks and crannies carved from the cliffs to explore.

Although the thing the boys enjoyed the most was playing cops and robbers in the sand dunes fronting on to the beach.

Fresh from pretending to abduct the kids and lock them in "jail", we would pile into the beach cafe, Porthcothan Bay Stores, which is tucked just behind the dunes and stocks all sorts of lovely Cornish treats (like sausages rolls from the Chough Bakery and Roskillys Icecream) with interiors that are a lot less like Dot Cotton's front room. You can even order a flat white without someone laughing at you.

How do I book?

We came home with grand (and completely unfunded plans) to buy the near derelict old chapel just across the road, renovate it and move down there lock, stock and barrel. The slightly more affordable way to get back to this slice of heaven more quickly is to book it through Forever Cornwall. It is available to rent on its own or with the neighbouring, larger Sheepfold. Race you down there?