Discovering the Dutch Coast

Tell people you are going on holiday to the Maldives and you will be greeted with reactions such as "wow that sounds amazing" or "you lucky thing I am so jealous" or "you are going to have such a fabulous time".  Tell them you are going to spend a week taking in the beaches of the North Sea in Holland and you are more likely to encounter perplexed looks (think Joey from Friend's smell the fart acting face) and querying comments such as "Holland?  That is an unusual choice" or "What made you decide to go there?"  Chances are nobody will say "Ohh Holland, you are going to love the stunning coastline, oodles of beach clubs with amazing boho interiors and tiny hamlets over looking the water with cobbled streets and clapboard houses." Well, unless you tell Kinship Creative, my Scandi Sister from another mother that is.

The gorgeous interior of Branding Beach Club

The gorgeous interior of Branding Beach Club

It was on her instagram feed a year or so ago I first spotted an amazing looking beach bar with bleached rattan furniture and rustic textures galore that I mistook for a hotspot in Ibiza but which turned out to be on the Dutch coast just 30 mins away from Amsterdam, a city we had a one night stand with (not in) last February.  One night was enough to make me think I would very much like to go steady with the Dutch capital city.  Dotted as it is with beautiful buildings, amazing cafes, cool lifestyle and homeware stores and great museums and parks to keep kids entertained.

Amsterdam through the eyes of Petite Passport

Amsterdam through the eyes of Petite Passport

So just after Christmas I started doing my Air BnB research.  It quickly became apparent that to stay in central Amsterdam itself in the Summer holidays in something that was not a shoebox or a youth hostel (although to be fair some of those looked quite nice) would potentially cost more than the UK's Brexit bill.  I was about to give up when I widened out my search area a little bit and spotted a clapboard house located on a dyke (an inland sea) about 15 mins drive outside of Amsterdam which fitted the bill perfectly.

Talk about kerb appeal, our Air BnB for the week

Talk about kerb appeal, our Air BnB for the week

Sometimes in life things which look great in a photo or on the TV turn out to be disappointing in real life.  Like Dermot O'Leary for example who I used to be rather partial to until I spotted him in Euston WH Smith and realised he is about the size of a small Irish Leprechaun in the flesh.  Happily when we arrived out our home in the Holland for the week it turned out we had the luck of the Irish on our side.  Click here for the Air BnB link but the pictures really can't convey what an amazingly idyllic setting it is in.  Durgerdam is a tiny Hamlet of impossibly appealing houses looking out to sea.  Our view to the front of the house was of boats bobbing in the harbour and sailing in the sea beyond and from the back there were meadows with sheeps and cows grazing with a stream running out throught the field.

The beautiful veranda looking out over meadows

The beautiful veranda looking out over meadows

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The house is arranged over 3 levels and is a perfect base for a family break.  The owners also have three sons of very similar ages to ours so there were a wealth of toys and activities to keep the trio of todgers entertained including a pool table, a mini astroturf pitch a full scale basketball net and a sandpit  all in a safely enclosed garden.  This meant that I actually managed to spend ten minutes lying in the huge hammock on the veranda which wraps around the house without anyone under the age of 8 appearing to tell me they were bored, had accidentally flushed their lego down the loo/wanted to use my phone to play a game that involves a sausage on legs running an assault course that would consume my annual data allowance.

I had competition for the hammock

I had competition for the hammock

Anyone for Tennis/Volleyball/Football/Basketball ? The mini astroturf pitch in the garden kept the boys very happily entertained as did the cows who would occasionally pitch up to spectate over the fence

Anyone for Tennis/Volleyball/Football/Basketball ? The mini astroturf pitch in the garden kept the boys very happily entertained as did the cows who would occasionally pitch up to spectate over the fence

There was also a huge range of indoor toys to keep them happy

There was also a huge range of indoor toys to keep them happy

There are 4 bedrooms, two double, two single kids room and two bathroom all decorated in a crisp clean Scandi inspired style with some gorgeous rustic features like the pine cladding wall in the main bedroom and concrete sinks in both of the bathrooms.  It is a style I am going to call Netherlands Nordic.  

The stunning master bedroom

The stunning master bedroom

I loved the wood cladding wall which added a rustic edge to the Scandi decor

I loved the wood cladding wall which added a rustic edge to the Scandi decor

Miniest Malmo's bed for the week

Miniest Malmo's bed for the week

The real jewel in the crown though is the kitchen which leads out on to the wrap around veranda I mentioned.  This is where we spent most of our time with breakfasts around the huge oval table which had a really cool built in plywood benches to sit on with lots of storage incorporated.  Dinners were taken out on the deck watching the sun go down over the fields.  The kitchen leads through to a living space and kids play corner and I loved the crittal style windows that linked the two spaces and the timber ceilings in the kitchen which added a touch of cabin chic to proceedings.

I loved this idea of having custom built ply seating with storage incorporated

I loved this idea of having custom built ply seating with storage incorporated

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The wooden clad ceiling was one of my favourite features

The wooden clad ceiling was one of my favourite features

As were the crittal style windows linking the kitchen to the living space

As were the crittal style windows linking the kitchen to the living space

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Breakfasts al fresco on the veranda

Breakfasts al fresco on the veranda

10 minutes up the road from the house is a Landmarkt supermarket for all of your grocery requirements.  I think it might be the Dutch equivalent of Whole Foods judging by the amazing range of mouthwatering fresh produce and slightly eye watering prices.  It is definetely not the cheapest place to stock up on nappies and bin bags but all of the food on offer was delicious.  There is also a lovely little restaurant in Durgerdam with tables right on the water and seems to be the place that Amsterdammers like to come and moor their boats and grab a bite to eat and glass of wine of a weekend so make sure to book in advance.  

The local bar and restaurant in Durgerdam

The local bar and restaurant in Durgerdam

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Spotted on one of our evening strolls, my dream house though think it is technically a boat shed....

Spotted on one of our evening strolls, my dream house though think it is technically a boat shed....

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The weather when we were there was amazing so we were happy to have the option of cooling down by going or a swim in the sea from the pontoons leading out to sea or to let the kids paddle in the shallow waters from a little beach just 5 mins walk from the front door of the house.

At the end of this track was a little beach where you could swim in the inland sea just 5 mins walk from the house

At the end of this track was a little beach where you could swim in the inland sea just 5 mins walk from the house

If you can tear yourself away from this little corner of paradise then Amsterdam is just on your doorstep and you are within an easy drive of the beaches to the North.  I have rounded up below a few of my favourite places that we visited but it is a far from comprehensive guide to all of the delights that Amsterdam and the coast have to offer (and definitely doesn't include delights including ping pong balls I am afraid).  I hope to go back many times to this gorgeous area to build up the Malmo & Moss guide gradually!

Amsterdam

Westergasfabriek

Having kids is a wonderful life enriching experience but it does mean sacrificing some of the things you previously took for granted.  Like the ability to cough without also doing a little wee or any hope of going to the toilet without someone bursting in within two minute of your cheeks hitting the seat.  Mooching whilst on a city break is another one to add to the list.  By which I mean idly wondering pretty streets with no clear aim other than pottering in and out of little boutiques and stopping in whichever bijou winebar, cute cafe or rustic restaurant takes your fancy.  If, like me, you are exploring Amsterdam whilst also keeping an eye on 3 boys, 3 footballs and with a buggy more heavily loaded than an Eddie Stobbart lorry then head to the Westerpark neighbourhood and explore the Westergasfabriek, the site of a former gas works which has been redeveloped into a beautiful park and cultural complex with indie shops, elecetic eateries, an arthouse cinema and brewery all housed in gorgeous old buildings.  We ate at Westergas Terrass which had statement boho lighting, industrial textures and vintage features and tables opening onto a huge public space in which the boys could run around and play whilst we waited for the food to arrive.

Parental heaven: a table overlooking an open space so the kids don't have to sit down until the food arrives on the table at the Westergas TerrassWestergas Terrase

Parental heaven: a table overlooking an open space so the kids don't have to sit down until the food arrives on the table at the Westergas TerrassWestergas Terrase

The interiors of the former industrial building were right up my street

The interiors of the former industrial building were right up my street

Dignita

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On the other side of town, the Vondelpark runs through the centre of the City with miles of cycle paths, open space and playgrounds for kids to explore.  Just aroound the corner from the park is Dignita which sounds like it might specalise in Euthansia but which is actually a kid friendly cafe that serves a mean brunch,  They have a play area to enterain the kids and a licensed bar should you fancy a bloody mary with your eggs benedict.

Pluk

If you are in Amsterdam unencumbered by junior chaperones then the 9 Streets is the area to head to for mooching.  There are a myriad of gorgeous lifestyle stores and cafes to while away the day in.  By allowing the boys to plunder my annual data allowance watching Thomas the Tank Engine/Angry Birds/Fifa rerun videos on my phone we managed to squeeze in an instagrammable brunch at Pluk, a cafe within a lovely lifestyle store with plenty to tempt you in the way of food and homewares.

Hello lovely herringbone tiles at Pluk

Hello lovely herringbone tiles at Pluk

The cakes were as delicious as the decor

The cakes were as delicious as the decor

And there was lots of lovely home ware to tempt you over your cup of tea

And there was lots of lovely home ware to tempt you over your cup of tea

Zandvoort & Noordwijk

The nearest beach to Amsterdam is in Zandvoort about 30 mins drive away and then slightly further up the coast is Noordwijk.  The towns themselves are nothing to write home about (there is a slight air of Soviet by sea about the drab concrete buildings that line the seafronts) but when you get down onto the beach all thoughts of Gorbachov will be forgotten.  The beaches are miles long, wide open and, compared to Majorca or the South of France, relatively deserted.  The sea is perfect for swimming in and surprisingly warm and there are shallow inland channels perfect for kids to paddle in without any fear of being swept out to the North Sea. 

On the beach in Noordwijk

On the beach in Noordwijk

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The real stars of the show are, however, the beach clubs which, with their relaxed rustic boho vibes will have you thinking you are in Ibiza not the Netherlands.  Think bleached wood, rattan lampshades and lashings of botanicals mixed in.  Our three favourites (all under the same ownership) were Hippie Fish on Zandvoort beach and Tulum and Branding Beach Club in Noordwijk.  The atmosphere was super relaxed and friendly with great brasserie type food with an asian fusion twist being served up.  The prices were not the cheapest but definitely not as eye watering as St Tropez.  When the sun goes down bonfires are lit and festoon lights turned on to add to the magic

I loved the floor to ceiling crittal style windows in Tulum beach club

I loved the floor to ceiling crittal style windows in Tulum beach club

I loved all of the statement lighting at Tulum

I loved all of the statement lighting at Tulum

The concrete hexagonal tiles in the kitchen at the Branding Beach Club really caught my eye

The concrete hexagonal tiles in the kitchen at the Branding Beach Club really caught my eye

I loved this idea of creating a feature wall with old door panels at Branding Beach Club

I loved this idea of creating a feature wall with old door panels at Branding Beach Club

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Malmo & Moss Sleeps: Five go Brocanting

Growing up, our Sunday night ritual was crumpets in front of the fire and a tv double bill of Antiques Roadshow followed by Lovejoy.  Consequently my knowledge of antiques extended to either Chippendale desks fenced to dodgy Russian oil barons by Lovejoy and Tinker or baroque art that someone found in their Granny’s attic and claimed they would never sell until they discovered it was worth £250K.  The BBC budget never stretched far enough for Lovejoy to go on a tour of the South of France, so, until I met my mother-in-law  age 23 (who has her own homewares business) I thought Brocante was some kind of infectious chest disease rather than a type of distressed vintage.

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Malmo & Moss Sleeps: Lyme Regis

Malmo & Moss Goes Jurassic

The last time I went to Dorset I was 9 years old and spent almost the entire time in the garden of our holiday house racing snails with my sister.  I therefore can’t remember much about Durdledoor or the rest of the Jurassic Coast but I do recall that I found the Ferrari of the snail world who frequently reduced my sister to tears as he accelerated (in snail terms) past her slippery chap who badly needed an injection of snail steroids. This Easter, having put those heady snail racing days behind me, I returned to Dorest with my in-laws

Where We Stayed

We booked a great Air BnB about 5 miles away from Lyme Regis.  Kerb appeal wise from the front it was not exactly a stunner, situated across a narrow road from a working farm, operated by a farmer who would probably not have been chosen to front a Duchy of Cornwall campaign on account of having only 3 front teeth and more hair coming out of his ears than I have on my head.  It looked more the kind of place to be cordoned off by DEFRA for starting a foot & mouth outbreak than to feature in a soft focus segment on lambing on Countryfile.  However, the rear and inside of the cottage were a very different story.

Best viewed from behind, the cottage that is.

Best viewed from behind, the cottage that is.

Once we got inside all thoughts of Foot & Mouth were forgotten

Once we got inside all thoughts of Foot & Mouth were forgotten

Wellies were helpfully left for us Down From Londoners

Wellies were helpfully left for us Down From Londoners

The Interiors

With 7 bedrooms in total (3 doubles, 3 singles and one with bunk beds) it was once two old workers cottages knocked into one with oodles of period features but decorated with a modern twist with great vintage, statement wallpapers and bold colour choices.  The real showstopper was the master suite which was painted a gorgeous dark green which had me mentally scouring a farrow & ball colour chart to work out which shade it was. Green Smoke was the insta consensus.  I wonder if doctors trying to diagnose dementia in middle class patients use some sort of system based on how many Farrow & Ball colours you can still name?

We won the coin toss for the master suite, the first and only time I have congratulated my husband on being a Class A tosser

We won the coin toss for the master suite, the first and only time I have congratulated my husband on being a Class A tosser

Gorgeous light flooded in through the old crittal style windows

Gorgeous light flooded in through the old crittal style windows

A vintage mirror wall never gets old for me

A vintage mirror wall never gets old for me

I would never have thought to go for a raspberry headboard but it worked so well against the green with the colour picked out in the picture tooo

I would never have thought to go for a raspberry headboard but it worked so well against the green with the colour picked out in the picture tooo

I wonder if doctors trying to diagnose dementia in middle class patients use some sort of system based on how many Farrow & Ball colours you can still name? At the foot of the gorgeous raspberry coloured bed was a roll top bath with stunning rattan pendant lights hanging overhead.  Downstairs there was a lovely big dining table for family meals, a snug living room with woodburner and then upstairs there was another big family room.  If I had any criticism it would be the carpets which were obviously next on the list of jobs to do but in meantime added a weirdly fusty air to proceedings. 

The second bedroom, not too shabby either!

The second bedroom, not too shabby either!

White with lots of great colour pops in the kids rooms

White with lots of great colour pops in the kids rooms

This was the lovely downstairs snug area with a woodburner and a massive stack of back issues of Living Etc

This was the lovely downstairs snug area with a woodburner and a massive stack of back issues of Living Etc

The main living room which was painted downpipe with the slightly retirement home carpets.

The main living room which was painted downpipe with the slightly retirement home carpets.

However, the garden more than made up for any carpet based disappointment.  It was huge and had a sea view over rolling fields (with the abundantly ear haired farmer often strolling past with a herd of sheep).  It had a built in trampoline and separate den area with two brilliant treehouses.  We enjoyed speculating Lloyd Grossman style “who lived in a house like this” and concluded that they were a London couple from the arts, possibly theatre designers, based mainly on the presence of several feather boas which, in truth, could equally have indicated they belonged to a burlesque troop.

Sunset and the occasional view of a hairy earred farmer

Sunset and the occasional view of a hairy earred farmer

The brilliant kids play area

The brilliant kids play area

The drop from the ladders did cause a phew sphincter tightening parenting moments

The drop from the ladders did cause a phew sphincter tightening parenting moments

Places to Go

The Rousdon Village Bakery

Anyone looking to book it should make sure to pack a pair of elasticated waist trousers in their luggage as it is a hop and skip away from the Rousdon Street Bakery.

The artist formerly know as Rousdon Petrol Station

The artist formerly know as Rousdon Petrol Station

Where the orgasmic bacon sandwich magic happened

Where the orgasmic bacon sandwich magic happened

Need i say more?

Need i say more?

Bear with me when I say it is in a former petrol station, I promise it is not a case of perching on a disused petrol can whilst eating a stale Ginsters. It has been converted into a light modern space with big communal tables and serves, hands down, the best bacon sandwich I have ever tasted.  Served on fried brioche bread, I think it might have caused me to suffer my first bacon induced orgasm.  There is also a nice shop next door selling textiles and ceramics when you have finally concluded, for the sake of your coronary arteries that two bacon sandwiches in one day would be too much.  If you get a second wind you can also pop to the sister branch in Lyme Regis called the Town Mill Bakery

Lyme Regis

View from the Cobb

View from the Cobb

We loved the slightly old fashioned charm to Lyme Regis.  The sandy beach to the west of the town centre is overlooked by lovely pastel coloured beach huts and it is a great spot to grab some fish and chips from Herbies before one of you causes the RNLI to come and rescue the 11,151st person to fall into the sea whilst have a little French Lietenants Woman moment on the Cobb. 

Ryder & Hope

I also discovered a rather nice little interiors shop called Ryder & Hope at the top of the High Street whilst my son was blowing his holiday money on an allegedly pre-historic shark’s tooth.  It stocks a very insta pleasing mix of botantical inspired products, gorgeous textiles, candles and interiors books.  I particularly loved their display shelving made of reclaimed scaffold planks & copper piping. 

Never has a dusky beach bathroom suite looked so good

Never has a dusky beach bathroom suite looked so good

Clever coppoer pipe shelving solutions

Clever coppoer pipe shelving solutions

Bridport Brocante

Further afield, Bridport and the Broadchurch featuring beaches of Burton Bradstock and Westbay are both worth a trip although the single lane A35 is prone to the type of slow moving tailbacks that may cause your children to ask what “cunting caravans” are.  If you visit Bridport on a Saturday it plays host to an open air vintage/flea market with all of the bric a brac shops also joining in which is located in the shadow of an old mill. 

This was my favourite stall

This was my favourite stall

Loved this old dolly tub but not enough to try and persuade Mr Malmo to strap it to the roof to get it home

Loved this old dolly tub but not enough to try and persuade Mr Malmo to strap it to the roof to get it home

Soulshine Cafe

Having been tasked with finding a café for lunch whilst we browsed the market, the men unexpectedly came up trumps with the Soulshine Café (although they did later confess to also having brought sausage rolls from the Spa which was their preferred preference but for some unknown reason they thought might be mildly unpopular with us).  It had a lovely garden area, quirky furnishing and lots of games and toys to keep the kids amused. However, save room for a icecream from the Hive Beach Café on Burton Bradstock beach which is well worth braving the middle class bunfight for. 

The lovely outdoor seating area

The lovely outdoor seating area

I know it would be covered in banana within 5 seconds of coming through the door but I still lust after a pink sofa!

I know it would be covered in banana within 5 seconds of coming through the door but I still lust after a pink sofa!

The SPA defintely wpouldn't have offered Kinfolk with the sausage rolls.

The SPA defintely wpouldn't have offered Kinfolk with the sausage rolls.

Burton Bradstock

Burton Bradstock beach is definitely worth going along the coast too.  It was used as a location in Broadchurch so is a good spot to go and close your eyes and pretend David Tennant is your husband, but it's real attraction is the Hive Beach Cafe which is justifiably popular offering a winning mix of great breakfasts, delicious cakes and ice cream from a hut out of the back.  Although prepare yourself for having to fight off middle class children called Freya who are trying to queue jump you in a bid to get a mango and pistachio sorbet first. The beach also comes with the added bonus of a National Trust Car Park which you can use for free and thus convince yourself that you have totally got your value for money from your £15 a month National Trust membership despite not having been near a Stately Home in 7 months.

Back at the holiday house once we had got the kids to bed of an evening we would settle down for a couple of rounds of traditional family favourite “In the Bag”.  As we headed home, sad to leave behind our contemporary coastal country pile, we were all left trying to erase from our memories my husband’s attempted mime of Julian Assange which involved leaping out from behind a curtain whilst thrusting his crotch and dangling a wire. Sexual assault allegations, diplomatic asylum and data leaks are, admittedly, a tough combination to act out through mime.

How do I book?

The property we stayed at is available through Air BnB.